Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Booty is Back!


I really almost fell on the floor when I saw this commercial for the Booty Pill. Pills that will make your ass bigger? And I truly could not believe that the hottest thing in under garments is the Butt Pad. Where did this fascination with ass come from? It's like everywhere I turn some new chick is famous for having a fat ass and the willingness to show it. Twitter is full of "models" with their asses out. And when a photographer is looking for models in an urban forum best believe that ass is the main feature.






I had the chance to have a wonderful professor when I minored in  African American Studies at UCF. Professor Gordon is a woman I will never forget. She made me so proud to be black and so proud of my history as a black woman. We studied ancestors from Africa made history all over the world. She taught me about Saartjie Baartman or the Hottentot Venus. Sold into slavery and used as an exhibit in France for her large buttocks and abnormally large genitals, Baartman was idolized for her frame, hated for her race, and degraded as a woman. I have no doubt that she was raped repeatedly as well.



The one thing that always makes me think about Baartman is the fact that there is a fascination with the black body that white america holds as a secret. It always has been that way. Baartman was a "celebrity" in the 1800s for her frame. French fashion clearly imitated her body. It's crazy to know that because Baartman's frame was as such she was dissected after her death and preserved for exhibition on sexuality. The doctor who dissected her also took her skin off her bones and made a cast of her body. Reading the notes on his "study" is sickening. It said that black women are more promiscuous because of the climate in Africa, that their sexual organs are bigger than white people's because they may have mated with apes, that black people are destined to be inferior--it makes me angry to know that "science" can be made of anything.



In conclusion--just between us girls--I would like Sarah Baartman idolized for her beauty in a positive way. I think she deserves to have her image reverenced for beauty because she was beautiful. It's so important that we as women don't forget what women have had to endure in order for us to be where we are today. Especially black women. I'm a woman who believes that there is nothing wrong with sexuality. The sexuality of a female is hers and hers alone. What women choose to do with their bodies sexually is their choice. I might choose to keep certain things for myself and my partner that the next girl might choose to expose. But at the end of the day it's her body not mine. But I think it does a woman no justice to have the physical assets that bring her attention and fame if she has no desire to better herself mentally as far as education and spirituality. There is a fine line between exploiting yourself and celebrating yourself, ladies. Although we are moving into 2010 women aren't allowed to embrace their sexuality like men can. Taking pictures of yourself with your ass out is your right but men are still scum and they would rather marry the chick that never does that and fantasize about the one that does. It's a double standard that doesn't seem to fade. History has proven that men are an oppressive gender and I'm not saying that all men are that way but I am saying that most men see women as things and not human beings that deserve to have their own sexual choices. A lot of men both embrace women for being sexual and condem them for it at the same time. It really and truly boggles my mind but that's a whole other blog.


Stay beautiful inside and out!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Pleasure P Statement: "Accusations are 100% False"


Pleasure P released his official via his Twitter page and denies everything. I don't know. I never want to jump at believing bad things about celebrities I like but lately with the world-wide-web (almost like Big Brother) rumors turn to proven reality within minutes. You have to make the judgement for yourself. If it is false, this has to have killed what was probably a high point in his career--his recent Grammy nomination.


Read Pleasure P's statement.


All I have to say is WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?!? Damn! It's bad enough to have to go through something like this and it's even worse to have to have to relive it in the public eye. And it doesn't make it better if the rumors are false. With the confession of Marcus Cooper's (Pleasure P) former group-mates, I'm gonna need a little more than denial to look past what seems to be the truth. Multiple witnesses, documents, and series of events that explain the downfall of a group on the rise to the top. I hope your attornies do get to the bottom of this.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tiger's Million Dollar Circus

This Tiger is really in a circus--a media circus. And this circus beats Barnum & Bailey. And it's going to end up costing Tiger Woods millions. Having to pay off one woman scorned is bad enough--having to pay her to stay with you is even worse. Reports state that Elin Nordegren is renegotiating her prenuptutial agreement.


The long and short of it is Nordegren was entitled to more than double what was orginially agreed upon. Originally she was due to get $20 million for staying with Tiger for 10 years. Now she entitled to $5 million up front and another $50 million to stay with him for two more years. Talk about paying for your sins. Should Elin decide to be a devoted wife and stand by her man she could walk away from this marriage with $80 million dollars if she stays another seven years. And not only will she have to stay with him she will be required to attend events by his side as if nothing ever happened. I wonder what she'll do...

We all know Tiger was the headliner of this circus with his multiple-woman juggling act but Rachel Uchitel was not to be outdone. The New York City club promoter not only denied that she had a sexual relationship with Tiger she lashed out at the media for even suggesting such a thing. Then suddenly the media became her friend. Uchitel scheduled a press conference today and stated thru her attorney/celebrity icon Gloria Allred that she would be honest about the relationship she had with Tiger. The public was told that Uchitel wouldn't be speaking but she would be present for the reading of a statement. And then she disappeared. Vanished without a trace. Conference cancelled and postponed indefinately. No statement was made beside the statement that no statement would be made. Talk about a show that deserves a standing ovation! I couldn't even predict this ending.


In conclusion--just between us girls--can money really make your anger subside? Let me rephrase that: Can MILLIONS make your anger subside? I think we all know the answer. The thing that bothers me the most is these sideline chicks stepping out of their lanes. Its clear that Rachel Uchitel is getting paid off someway and Jaimee Grubbs had already capitalized on her whoredom. It's like Uchitel wanted this circus spotlight to be on her. But clearly no one sees that Elin is really the ring master in this whole fiasco. Not only did she get to physically hit her husband, she also gets to hit him where it counts--those pockets. I'm almost positive we will see her beside Tiger for years to come because she has the upper hand. She pulls the strings. And that's the description of Boss Bitch.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Pleasure P a Convicted Child Molester?!?!

File that under "WTF Headlines of 2009!" I literally just saw a tweet about this from my boy. Urban blogger Necole Bitchie got the scoop on sealed records claiming that Pleasure P (formerly of Pretty Ricky and singer of Boyfriend #2) was convicted of molesting his niece and nephew.

There's isn't too much to say about this but you have to read this email. It's utterly shocking and that's all I can say about it.

NecoleBitchie.com "A Break Down of the Pleasure P Molestation Case with Documents"

2010 Grammy Nominees


"And the Grammy goes to..." Not me! I'm secretly (yet openly) hating on every single artist that was nominated for a Grammy this year. I wish it was me.  But since she has yet to record an actual chart topping album, Shanetta did not make the list. But here are a list of the 2010 Grammy Nominees.


I had to admit I missed Kanye West for "808s & Heartbreak," was super happy to see Drake get two noms(though the haters are pointing out he doesn't have an album out,) even more excited for Lady Gaga, and shocked to see Flo-Rida listed at all. Of course the ever-so-perfect Taylor Swift will be angering country artists everywhere with her one million noms and The Kings of Leon have finally gotten their just due after years of creating music. I was happy to see my girl Adele had a nomination and The Black Eyed Peas definately earned every single nomination. Rihanna was nominated for some stuff, too. Keri Hilson finally got the nominations I think she has earned and Beyonce has to be kissing the songwriters of "Single Ladies." Although I'm a little confused as to how that song ended up in the same category as Melonie Fiona and Jasmine Sullivan for Best R&B vocal performance. And how the hell did PLEASURE P get a nomination?




In conclusion--just between us girls--I think the 2010 Grammy's will be swept by either Beyonce or Taylor Swift. But I'm praying that Lady Gaga pulls upset after upset. My favorite part is seeing someone win their first Grammy so Keri Hilson has my vote for Best New Artist. Girl Power!

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

More Wood on the Fire

Seems that squeaky clean Tiger Woods has a dirty little secret: He can't help swinging his golf club towards random holes. News has surfaced that not only was there Rachel (find out more in "Wife Goes Wild on Woods") but there are also Jaimee and Kalika. I was super shocked to find out that there was more than one other woman, though. I wonder if Elin (Tiger's wife) knew about all three.


Tiger has openly apologized and made important statements regarding his right to privacy. I sorta agree that problems within a family shouldn't have to require public confessions--but in this case it may have been in Tiger's best interest to do so. Jamiee Grubbs has come forward to the press with details--texts, voicemails, and emails--and seems hell bent on confessing for him. And while all the women come forward and reveal their relationships with Tiger we the people are left to wonder.


In conclusion--just between us girls--accountability is accountability. We all know that of whom much is given, much is required. I don't think it's fair for celebrities to play the privacy card when their fabricated images fall apart. I understand that people are human and mistakes will be made. But celebrities have to understand that as much as they flaunt their perfect lives, charitable acts, beautiful homes, and Clever-like families the public will feel betrayed if things don't add up. I'm just a regular woman and I'm not a part of the American culture on a regular basis. So if anyone has a question about my personal life I have every right to say that it's none of their business. But as a celebrity privacy is a luxury that money can't buy. A celebrity spends his or her career maintaining an image. Its a shame that they can force-feed perfection to the masses but when something pops off and they are brought down from their pedistal back into humanity--it's no body's business.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Happy "Hol O Days" 20 Holiday Events for Under $20

Tis the season my fellow Orlandoans (is that even what we call ourselves?) and I know you're pockets are gonna be tapped to the max. There is so much to do with Disney and Universal and Amway and Bob Carr for the holidays but I decided to go about finding 20 things to do this holiday season that will cost you $20 or less. I found about 50 so I just listed the ones in Orlando and surrounding areas. So grab the children and lock down the boo cause there is no excuse not to enjoy this holiday season with the ones you love.



Best of Florida Christmas (Through Jan 3) Holiday shows and displays, featuring ICE!, the walk-through ice sculpture. Daily at the Gaylord Palms. $13. Call 4075681600 for details.

Light Up UCF (Nov 20-Jan 8) Light show, rides, skating rink and 100 ft. ice slide at the UCF Arena. $10. Call 4078236006 for details.

Now Snowing (Nov 28-Dec 31) Snow machines, carolers and entertainment from 6pm to 9pm Sat-Thurs in Celebration. FREE. Call 4075661202 for details.

A Christmas Carol (Nov 27-Dec 20) Traditional telling of the classic story. Thurs-Sat 8pm and Sun 2:30pm at Theater Downtown. $18. Call 4078410083 for details

History Center Holiday (Dec 2) Mayor Richard Crotty lights the square at this festive celebration with music performances, Santa, crafts and more from 5:30pm-9pm Wed at the History Center. FREE. Call 4078368500 for details.

Need a Little Christmas (Dec 3-Dec 13) Cabaret of seasonal songs and characters at the Breakthrough Theater of Winter Park. $15. Call 4079204034 for details.

Holiday Showcase (Dec 13-Dec 19) A variety of acts from local choirs to the Windermere Ballet and Community Dance Theater perform selected works from the holiday. 6pm-9pm at the Rosen Shingle Creek Resort. FREE. Call 4079969770 for details.

The Gift Musical Production (Dec 4) Presentation featuring a variety of holiday music. 7:30pm to 9:30pm Friday at the Walt Disney Amphitheater in Lake Eola Park. FREE. Call 4072462827 for details.

Christmas Vespers (Dec 4-Dec 6) Annual festival of lessons and carols presented by the Rollins College Dept of Music. 6pm Fri-Sun at Tiedtke Concert Hall. $5. Call 4076461517 for details.

Its a Wonderful Life: Radio Play (Dec 4-Dec 13) Staged radio version of the Christmas tale 7:30pm Fri-Sat and 2pm Sun at the Osceola Center for the Arts. $20. Call 4078466257 for details.





Winter Wonderland (Dec 4) A student choreographed production from Dr. Phillips High School 7pm Fri at St Paul's Presbyterian Church. $10. Call  4072933696 for details.

Christmas in the Square (Dec 4) Live entertainment, tree lighting, and Santa in Downtown Sanford from 6pm-8pm Friday. FREE. Call 4076885120 for details.

Popcorn Flicks (Dec 4) White Christmas and How the Grinch Stole Christmas 7pm Fri at Central Park in Winter Park. FREE. Call 4076290054 for details.

Noche Latina en Ice! (Dec 4) Puerto Rican musicans play traditional Latin Christmas music while guests enjoy the Ice! exhibit and various Spanish treats. From 9:30pm911:30pm Friday at the Gaylord Plans. $20. Portion of proceeds go to charity, Ca// 4075861600 for details.

Festival of Trees (Dec 5-13) Weeklong holiday celebration with decorations and a tree trimming contest. From 10a4pm Sat-Sun at the Museum of the Apopkans. FREE. Call 4077031707 for details. 

Avalon Aglow (Dec 5) Santa leads the evening with hay rides, ice skating, live performances and fireworks. From 5pm-9pm in Avalon Park. FREE. 076586565 for details.

Light Up the Holidays (Dec 5) More than 200,000 colorful lights illuminate the park with live music and entertainment froom 5pm-9pm Saturday at Cranes Roost Park. FREE. Call 4075718180 for details.
Leadership Winter Park Pancake Breakfast (Dec 5) All-you-can-eat pancakes to warm you up before the parade, with proceeds benefiting local elementary schools. From 7am-10:30am Sat in Central Park. $5 Call 4076448281 for details.
Cracker Christmas Weekend (Dec 5-Dec 6) Old Florida-style holiday fair with arts, crafts, demonstrations and food. From 10am-4pm Sat-Sun in Fort Christmas. FREE. Call 4075684149 for details.
Holiday Movie Nights (Dec 7-Dec 21) Family classics shown in the park at 7pm Monday at Cranes Roost Park. FREE. Call 4075718863 for details.
Alive After Five: Cheers to the Holidays (Dec 10) Downtown street party featuring food and wine, art displays, and live performances. 5pm Thursday in Downtown Sanford. $7. Call 4073241577 for details.
Baldwin Park Festival of Lights (Dec 12) Carriage rides, holiday parade, and a holiday movie.  From 4:30pm-9pm Saturday at Baldwin Park Village Center. FREE. Call 4072063300 for details.
Holiday in the Park (Dec 11-Dec 20) The city opens an ice rink next to Lake Eola. 12pm to 10pm Friday, 10am to 10pm Saturday. $7. Call 4072462827
Snow Fest (Dec 19) The winter party involves ice skating and playing with real snow in the Florida sun. From 2pm-6pm Sat at RDV Sportsplex. $7 adults $13 for children. Call 4079162442 for details.

Wife Goes Wild on Woods


Maybe I watch too much True TV but as soon as the story broke that Tiger Woods smashed his Cadi into a fire hydrant yet there was no intoxication--I knew something was up. And sure enough-drama was brewin' in Tiger's neck-of-the-Woods. And although I like to enlighten myself with politics and feministic rants I also love to get my celebrity gossip fill. So this was nothing but savory goodness to me (we all have our faults.) I was just speculating and speculating: Fellow Orlando resident/Ginourmous athelete getting beat up by his own little trophy--Oh how the mighty has fallen!

And didn't my Tweetles (that's what I call my Twitter family) have a field day! Trending topic became #TigerWoodsWife followed by "is really black" or "will bust the windows out your car" and my favorite "yelled to Rihanna 'This is how you do it!'" So what REALLY happened early that morning. The world may never know. But despite the fact that Tiger just wants this to all go away the rumors keep swirling. Seems like the wholesome Tiger Woods had a mistress (Rachel Uchitel is the alleged mistress but she denies it.) And Mrs. Woods found out. And she showed him who just how she felt about it. Reports say that the "lacerations" on Tiger's face weren't caused by the accident. Instead they were caused by Elin scratching her husbands face. Then she chased him out of the house with a golf club and beat up his Cadilliac, busting out the back window. Apparently Tiger Woods was knocked out for six whole minutes.


Now Tiger Woods has a squeaky clean image so the story that was developed initially was a publicist's golden moment. And it would have worked had Americans been idiots. Even my Swizz tweeted that it the story seemed a little off. No need to highlight the questions that came up in my mind because we now have a more plausible story--although its full of holes.  But one thing is for sure--Elin got gangsta. If Tiger was planning to cheat on Elin he should have chosen a tougher sport because she seems like a fiesty one. Now I don't condone domestic violence but I do believe in showing your man that you are your own woman. I wouldn't chose violence but if you read the history of how Tiger was rejected by Elin you'd see that she's a tough chick.

In conclusion--just between us girls--I doesn't matter how much money you have. And it definately doesn't matter how pretty you are. Men are men. They may love you dearly but need will venture off for a side dish. This story goes to show that you can't stop a man from cheating but you can show him how you really feel about it. I doubt Tiger will be seeing his mistress anytime soon. I also want my ladies to note that Elin is a successful, beautiful, educated woman in her own right. A devoted and supportive wife and mother. She is a great woman. This is just a bump in the road for Tiger and Elin...well it's a bump on Tiger's forhead anyway.


Stay beautiful inside and out!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Study Shows Men are USELESS


A friend of mine posted an article on Fabebook called Women Are Overtaking Men in the U.S. from Sphere.com. It definately made me lqtm (laugh quietly to myself--I'm tryna get this to catch on) since I've been thinking this for years now. I know I sound like I'm contradicting myself when I say I'm not looking for a man but I can't wait to get married. But the reason I say I'm not looking for a man is because I truly don't need one for ANYTHING if I need to be bluntly honest. And I do mean ANYTHING if you can pick up what I'm putting down lol. I know the kind of man that I want to marry and that I will marry and it will be truly a miracle if we ever find each other. I want someone who is educated, motivated to succeed, and who won't tie me down and prohibit me from pursuing my simple plan of world domination. That's all.

When I read this I was happy that research was there to back up my feministic viewpoint.

 "Women really have become the dominant gender," said Guy Garcia, author of "The Decline of Men." "What concerns me is that guys are rapidly falling behind. Women are becoming better educated than men, earning more than men, and, generally speaking, not needing men at all. Meanwhile, as a group, men are losing their way."

I know I always talk to you ladies, but if there are any men out there that can raise their hand and say this is not true, please do so. Because from where I sit in the city of Orlando, there really is no debating on this this. Especially among people of color. It can find 20 females to every one male who has a undergraduate degree or higher. And I think that knowing how much better educated I am than my male counterparts and knowing how truly independent I am makes me a harder catch. I can't take any man seriously who is doing worse off than I am. Especially if he's older than me.


In conclusion--just between us girls--I really and truly feel I will be single for years to come. I refuse to settle just to be with someone and past men I have dated have allowed me to wear the pants financially and it's now a complete turn off. Am I crazy for feeling like I'm too good to be with a guy who hasn't taken the time to invest in himself through school or entreprenuership? Is that really shallow? I don't think so. I'm tryna be a part of relationship that rivals Jay and Beyonce, Swizz and A.Keys, or Barack and Michelle. I want to be a part of something that's ever changing, growing and making a difference. Whether it is just me ending up like Kris Kardashian and Bruce Jenner, I want to be a part of a loving committed situation where my husband is just as successful as me if not better. I say if he can't at least do for me what I am doing for myself then that guy is truly USELESS.


Stay beautiful inside and out!

Milk & Cookies


 It's almost winter and I am looking for sombody I can call boo as Ciara would say. But until I find that special winter wonderland I'm still just bouncing around with the Mr. Right Nows. Don't judge me. We all have needs and some of us aren't afraid to admit it.

Now, like I said, I never thought I'd be sexually active without being married but life has turned out to be that way for me. A tragic tale of blind love (or lust) and crippling heartbreak and here I am two years later as "the cow that's giving the milk away for free." Let's be honest since it's just us girls, most of you are too. We're unmarried and giving away the milk.



The reason I had always wanted to hold on to my virginity is because I saw myself as something special--a prize to be given to the most worthy. And I truly believed that my man was gonna buy the cow. But since that didn't happen and I'm giving away the milk for free, how do I save something special for the man who does decide to buy the cow? That my friends, I call "cookies."


"Cookies" are those little extras that I save only for someone special to me. There a places I am willing to go sexually that won't venture into with just any ol' body. For example, I don't send pictures of my body to random dudes. That's probably one thing guys hate most about me. It's the first thing they need being visual creatures but the last thing I'm willing to give up. I don't like the idea of having my body on display for someone who could give two shits about me. I cringe at the thought that my ass or boobs or 'area' being a part of some loser's phone montage of chicks.

I always told myself I'd be adventurous in the bedroom for my man because we know what they say, "What you won't do another chick will." I truly believe in allowing your man to act out his sexual fantasies with you to maintain a level of excitement and freedom in your relationship. Granted I don't think that will keep him from cheating but I believe the duty of a good woman or wife is to be there for her man on that level.


In conclusion--just between us girls--treat your "cookies" like the deserts of your sexual encounters. Don't give them to just anyone. Guys expect so much from us sexually these days without making any committment. I can't tell you how many times a man has approached me on a first encounter about sex. With sex flooding our mainstream media and music on the regular it's understandable. But in a society where men are getting free milk we just HAVE to make them buy the cookies. Don't be a little freak in the bedroom for just any ol' body. Make a list of things that you want to reserve for your someone special. Make somethings sacred. One thing I have made sacred is my naked body. I also make sex in any place besides a bedroom off limits. Those are just some of the G rated things I can list. Think about some things that you would like to save for that special someone and list them below in the comments. My list is pretty long and some things guys raise eyebrows about but don't get it twisted "shorty is a freak--but only for her man though."

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Rihanna Honored Alongside Michelle Obama?


Ok. Hold on. Rihanna gets honored as Women of the Year along side Michelle Obama? I can't wrap my head around that just yet. I feel like pulling a Kanye and saying "Hold up Rihanna, i'ma let you finish but Tina Turner had one of the best domestic violence stances of all time."

 If you've had the chance to read my blog "Punches and Publicity" you may understand better just why I'm a little speechless on this. Ladies please comment and tell me how you feel about this. I can't deny that Rihanna was brave for staying away from Chris Brown and speaking out about the "incident" but I have been around domestic violence situations and this isn't like the rest.

Rihanna had the pressure of the media to keep her away from Chris Brown. Remember, she went back--as is normal in situations like that--and I believe that if she wasn't under the spotlight she would still be with him. She's right that the feelings just don't go away and it's clear to everyone she still loves him. I guess I'm just a little taken aback that she would be honored for a decision that may have been forced upon her.

In conclusion--just between us girls--does it matter what her true reasons for leaving Chris are? If one young girl decides to leave an abusive relationship because of Rihanna does that warrant an award? I don't know if I can agree. The Woman of the Year award is for HER stance on domestic abuse. I sincerely don't believe she would have chosen to be away from Chris if her career didn't depend on it and if there wasn't so much media pressure.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Punches and Publicity: Rihanna Speaks Out


I watched the interview of Rihanna on Diane Sawyer and my initial reaction was to be proud of her for staying strong and being able leave Chris. It's obvious that she still loves him. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I've run back a few times to a man who was abusive. No, he never hit me but he was verbally abusive--knew just what to say to make me feel like nothing--and since I thought I loved him, every time he said sorry I was happy to forgive. So I can understand what it takes to be away from someone you love who has made a mistake like this (granted it may be easier with  the media and corporate sponsors pressuring you.)

But before I had the chance to sit down and hear her side of the story I was one of many who didn't even want to hear her side. It's been almost a year since the incident, Chris Brown has done his best to make a comeback with his tarnished image, and I know I have been ready to forgive him. What he did was horrifying but I can't believe he deserves the "Ike Turner" label at such a young age. He made a mistake. But with Rihanna now spilling her guts (leaving out what happened in between the text message and the beating) I couldn't help but say to myself, "Wow. Chris Brown is a monster."

You should all know by now the Twitter addiction I have (follow me: IamDivaGlam) and my twit fam and I talked about the TIMING of this tell-all. Rihanna has a new album scheduled to come out this month. Now if I didn't have a degree in public relations I wouldn't have had such a bad reaction to the idea of her coming clean at this time. It's clear that she is using the beating as publicity for her album. Yes, we want to know what happened that night. But we sincerely cared about what happened that night in FEBRUARY. I understand that this incident may be the inspiration for her new album and an interview does go hand in hand. But for her to not release any statements about the incident prior to now leaves a bad taste in my mouth. As far as I know she never released any statement--her people did to let us know she was okay--but they never advised her to at least say she couldn't speak for legal reasons or whatever the case may be. Waiting until her album is ready to drop to spill all is just distasteful. I follow Cynamin Jones on Twitter and she said, "Girls needed your voice THEN. Not now."

In conclusion--just between us girls--I believe that overall Rihanna is a brave young woman for going what she went through and deciding that she needed to be apart from the man she loves. And as a celebrity she doesn't owe us the details. It never hurts to clear up rumors but in the end our questions about that night could have remained unanswered. Her timing however is in poor taste. She says she doesn't want this to damage Chris' career but how can it not? Seeing those images, hearing that he may have been cheating, imagining Chris with "no soul" aren't doing anything to build his image.

The main issue is the domestic violence though. I grew up with it first hand and like Rihanna I vow to never be that woman. If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence I encourage you to speak out and get help. All too often I see it as common among people of color but IT'S NOT OKAY. Like Rihanna says "Eff love." That may be the only way to guarantee you will live. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hrs a day at 1.800.799.SAFE or visit them online http://www.ndvh.org/

Stay beautiful inside and out.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Love is a Four Week Word



Maybe it's just me, but I'm suprised that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got married after only a month or so of dating. And apparently a lot of people seem to be happy for them. E! reportedly paid a cool 1 million dollars for the wedding and Khloe was able to sell the photos to some publication for $300,000 so publicity stunt or not--the new Mrs. Lamar Odom came out like a thief. Not to mention, the star-studded guest list and the fact that she looked the best we've seen her after her weight loss. She looked AMAZING in her Vera Wang dress.

Shocked as I am, I'm happy for her if she's happy. She's my favorite Kardashian sister and she cracks me up. I'm sure she's always had to deal  with being in the shadow of her two sisters since the media is shallow and harsh. This is the first time she's been the star of the three: Kim's scandolous break up, Kourtney's pregnancy, Khloe's shotgun wedding. This is definately a trio that knows how to work the press. All "publicity stunt" questions aside--I truly want to know if my readers believe in this day and age you can find love in four weeks? And not just find love in four weeks but the kinda love that makes you want to get married?

In conclusion-just between us girls--we don't live in the 1950s. People don't get married at 18 and stay married till they die anymore. People don't wait to lose their virginities till they're married. And I dare say that most people have no idea that a marriage is a full time job in itself. I mean, I lost hope in the sanctity of marriage years ago because people have no idea how to make a promise and do everything they can to keep it. I believe that a marriage should be two people coming together to build something greater--whether that be family, business, or quality of life. It's a partnership and should always be in constant forward motion. So all that, on top of needing to get to know someone I wouldn't rush into marriage. Not in this day and age. There's so much that we're exposed to, so much that we can get caught up in. I know you can fall in love fast but MARRIAGE is the thing that should be done with a lot of thought and consideration. My favorite chapter in the Bible is Proverbs 31. That woman is not only a great mother, she's a great wife. She's an inspiration to her family and she works hard to bring home the bacon--and fry it up. I aspire to be just like that. We lose the idea that you can be a strong woman and be a wife these days. I'm sorry but i don't believe love and marriage go togther like a horse and carriage after just four weeks.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Swizz+Alicia+Mashonda=Twitter Triangle


Ugh! This hurts me to my heart! But ugh *clutches chest* I can't believe that this is truly what the love between two of my most favorite artists has become. I just had to speak on it. To quote Swizz I am "gossiping about things [I] know nothing about" but I decided to do it since it's a perfect triangle that relates to us women. I had a great conversation about it via a friend on Twitter who has the complete opposite opinion as I do. And thus I was motivated to write this blog.





As a Twitter freakazoid I actually responded to Alicia Keys tweet: “Having a heated debate n the studio. Question is…N love is it better to go 4 the choice that is ‘SMART’ or the choice that has ‘SPARK’??” I responded something along the lines "I'm looking for SMART but still miss my SPARK" and I'm sure there was a emoticon somewhere in that tweet as well. If you follow my blog you know that I have a constant thing for my very first love that I can't seem to shake. But it just never seems to work with us. Well, that little tweet from Keys ignited a plethora of feelings for Mashonda, Swizz Beatz's wife. (Read the letter here http://www.rap-up.com/2009/09/26/mashondas-open-letter-to-alicia-keys/ )





If you've been living under a rock, you may not know that my favorite celebrity Swizz Beatz and my favorite singer Alicia Keys have been keeping their relationship under wraps for about two years. As Swizz seeks divorce Mashonda stated from the jump that she had no idea her marriage was in trouble and that Keys had been the cause of the demise of her marriage. When I first caught wind of the drama I was happy for Swizz. I mean Alicia Keys is beautiful, talented, a strong, creative woman. I think men should be paired with women who mirror their intangible traits. That makes for stronger bonds and better understanding. I wanted Swizz to be happy and since apparently Keys isn't a lesbian I thought she was the perfect fit for a talented and artisitc indivual as Swizz. I remembered saying that Mashonda wasn't handling her wifely duties and must have been preoccupied to not know the marriage was in trouble. I put the blame on her. I even laughed when Swizz commented that it wasn't a big deal "people get divorced every fuckin day." That was before I got Mashonda's story.





Now I'm deflated and disappointed at both Swizz and Alicia. I truly had no idea that Mashonda had just had a child and I did not know that she wanted to try and hold on to her husband and her marriage. I never really thought about what it means to take vows and to have them challenged. Aren't you supposed to try and work it out? I think she has every right to be bitter. I think she has every right to lash out. Do I think it's appropriate to do it on Twitter? Maybe not but I'm glad she had the guts to say "You stole my husband but because I'm the mother of his child we have to come to some understanding."





In conclusion-just between us girls-when do we let the guilty take the blame? I'd be a hypocrite if I let Swizz off the hook in this whole thing. One thing I always say is married men are a complete turn off for me. I try and respect my fellow female by not approaching what is clearly out of reach. What makes another woman disregard that wedding ring I will never know. It's not like she just slept with him either. She stole him. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad to think about. Alicia Keys saw what she wanted and went after it. My heart wants to believe she tried to say no but the "sparks" were just to much to overcome. Now I don't believe for one second that Mashonda should be to blame for this whole thing. We can rationalize why Swizz cheated but we can't pretend that marriage is all sunshine and rainbows. When you get married you're supposed to work through problems, keep your eye on your spouse, focus on keeping that bond that wanted to you promise your life to another in the first place. Celebrities are human and that's so clear from this situation. We can learn from them, relate to them, and hopefully avoid making the same mistakes. Ladies, let's be true to ourselves, each other, and then the men. Because like I say-we let men get away with so much.





Stay beautiful inside and out!



Saturday, September 12, 2009

Manwhore Epidemic

Ladies, we have a problem. Well, I think its a problem anyway. We have men running wild out in society--sleeping with any girl that has a fat ass--and then retiring from "the game" and going in search of good "less experienced" women. Now that's not the only thing that I think is the problem. The main problem is these same men are the first to call a woman a hoe but then and then turn around and be a whore themselves. Can I please dig the term "manwhore" up from the grave? Cause we have have epidemic on our hands.

I don't know if I'm truly a feminist at heart but I think that there is a huge problem in society when it comes to sexual equality. Christina Aquilera said it best, "When you look back in history there's a common double standard in society. The guy gets all the glory the more he can score and the girl and do the same and yet you call her a whore." Now, I'm not saying lets screw our way to equality ladies. I'm saying our sexuality is not our own. As women, we still have to succumb to the standards of society. No matter how old fashioned and confining it is.

What I choose to do sexually I keep in between me and my partner. I'm not really out there like that and you'll notice in past posts that I refer to sex as the "love game." Truth be told "sex" was a bad word in my house growing up. We spelled it out--never said the word. For years I committed myself to abstinence until I was married. Then I decided that marriage is a lie and not what I was brought up to believe it was and chose to wait till I was in love. I was 23 years old when that happened (at least, I thought I was in love.) I have to admit I do feel a little self conscious about being that old because while I was practicing my abstinence I was never educating myself on anything sexually. I mean disease and pregnancy were both things I didn't want and my education ended there. But I never allowed myself to feel out of control with what I chose to do with my body. Whether I was being abstinent or picking a partner I always felt in control of my sexuality. I have been educating myself and learning that its okay to talk about sex, to admit that you want to have sex, and to admit that you are having sex. Dialogue keeps everyone healthy and safe.

Every time I turn on the radio I hear people talking about sex. Rappers talking about "hoes" and how they treat them. Singers admitting that all they wanna do is sleep with the beautiful young ladies they meet in the club. Its out there in the open. What I don't get is how a rapper who sleeps with a zillion women can get away with calling anyone a hoe. And from rapper to the average Joe Schmoe to have the audacity to get his freak on with every chick he sees and then say that they won't wife a chick with "too many miles" on her would be laughable if it wasn't so disgusting. I was watching that movie "Maid of Honor" you know the one with McDreamy in it? Now THAT guy was a manwhore. Imagine if the role had been reversed. See? Not as much of a romantic comedy! Manwhores run around town like fleas jumpin from one girl to another, always with the same lines, same outcome. Especially when a girl ends up sleeping with them on the first night--all kinds of disrespect ensues. I always think "didn't you sleep with her the first night you met her? What makes your decision to sleep with her less skeezy? The fact that you're a dude?" I don't buy it and neither should you.

In conclusion--just between us girls--Its like we're living in this world of chasity where it's just best to pretend that you aren't having sex at all if you're a female. Cause there is a difference between a hoe and a sexually active female...but putting it into writing it still sounds skeezy for both types of girls. I'll admit, I'm hit with that old world disdain for sexually uninhibited females. I grew up in church--a very strict one--and thought having sex without being married was the ultimate devaluing act of a female for 23 years. My main concern is that we as women own our sexuality. Don't let men who can't even count the number of females they have been with--less more remember their names--put a value on who you are as a woman. Because I'm out so much I see the dudes that scam on girls, then get on twitter tryna sweet talk girls, then in the same breath talk about hoes like they aren't one themselves. I think its time that we as women call them out and treat them as such. Once we realize the power that we have because of our sexuality we can run the world. Nations have fallen because of women. I may not have the same values as other women but I respect every woman's sexual choice from virgin to prostitute because I don't have the right to judge anyone on how they choose to live. But where do we draw the line between cheapening ourselves and owning up to the fact that we are sexual beings as well? That, my friend, you'll decide on your own based on your morals or religion.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Wife Me vs "One Night" Me

It's come to my attention lately that guys in this town really think they're slick. And they must think women are idiots, as well. It's appalling to me how dudes try and sweet talk you into sleeping with them. How they try and make you think that they're looking for love and committment so you'll let your guard down and they can go in for the kill. Again, it's no secret that I'm a committment phobe and while I'd like to say I have been in love, I can't. I'm afraid of the trust that goes into something like that and nine times outta ten I'm dealing with some joker who thinks I'm like that next chick and is tryna run game. I'm not that next chick and you'll learn that very quickly. When all you need a man for is the love game the playing field becomes even. Chances are you think you're runnin game on me but you can't run game on someone that already knows the plays homie. So I decided to compile a list for the fellas (feel free to add on what you think too ladies) to let them know we're on to them.

Wife Me: He calls almost everyday to see how I'm doing. If he doesn't call, he's at least texting--or tweeting.
One Night Me: He only calls once every few weeks. Tries to act like he's been so busy but been thinking about you. Asks if he can "come through" later.

Wife Me: He returns calls and texts in a timely manner. Contacts you more before midnight than he does after midnight.
One Night Me: Never returns calls or texts and if he does its always after midnight and usually sounds like "So what you gettin into"

Wife Me: He holds my hand, the inside of my elbow, the small of my back.
One Night Me: He grabs my ass, tries to touch my boobs, or actually does touch them.

Wife Me: The conversation usually consists of things that matter to me, to him, or to the world.
One Night Me: Always sexually oriented conversations

Wife Me: Sends me pics of himself doing silly things or seeing silly things
One Night Me: Asks me to send "Cassie shots"

Wife Me: Kisses me on the mouth after a good love game
One Night Me: Hugs me when he's leaving after the love game

Wife Me: Makes sure that I get mine if he get's his
One Night Me: Gets his and goes to sleep. Doesn't even gear up for round two.

Wife Me: Calls me beautiful
One Night Me: Calls me sexy

Wife Me: Invites me out on a date where we can get to know eachother
One Night Me: Wants to come over and chill or go over and chill

Wife Me: Would rather hold off talking about sex early into knowing me
One Night Me: Pretends to be curious about "what I can do" claims to be a "sexual person"

Wife Me: Likes more things about me than the physical
One Night Me: Knows nothing about me but the physical

Wife Me: Kisses me on the mouth
One Night Me: Kisses me on the cheek

Wife Me: Comes out to the club to see me, chill with me, drink with me
One Night Me: Bounces around the club with all different kinds of girls getting numbers till he stumbles across me

Wife Me: Treats me like a friend
One Night Me: Treats me like his toy

Lord knows I could go on the basic gist is this: there is a difference in how you treat a girl you want to be with and a girl you just want to sleep with. Guys seem to think the game plan is the same but it's the subtle differences that give it away and should let you know where you stand with that man in your life ladies. Especially if you aren't official. I'm a show and prove kind of girl. And if you start running in one direction I'm gonna drag you the whole way down. Say what you mean to say and be direct. I don't know where they make girls that don't know the difference or think that you can go from being the hoe to the housewife. If I think a guy sees me as a hoe, I see him as a hoe and treat him accordingly. You may have thought you had me sucked in but check your call log homie. The proof is in the pudding.

Stay beautiful inside and out

Respect My Hustle

If you happen to read every new blog I post you know that I have been stressing a lot lately over this business and trying to make sure the bumps along the way don't completely run me of the road. Things are hard in life--I know from first hand experience. But I've always come out on top. When I tell you what my dreams are I'm predicting my future. I never say I want something and don't get it. That happens because I hustle.



I've noticed a lot lately that everyone claims to be a "hustler" or that they're grinding. The thing that bothers me about it is people want to throw around those terms and get respect for them. People also see lack of results as a lack of a true hustle--which is incorrect. The act of hustling or grinding is always the process. Your results don't make you a hustler. The progress in your process does.



Sad to say I rarely respect anyone's hustle. Because I truly hustle. From the time I was very young I had a broader understanding of life than most adults do. I was put into a situation that most people wouldn't have the strength to survive. Or if they survived they'd just repeat the process of their parents. Both my parents were on drugs heavy at a young age. My mom was on the streets at 14 when her mother died. That was all she knew. I never had a doubt that she loved me though. Even when it took us almost two decades to be reunited I welcomed her back with open arms and instant forgiveness. I believe that drugs are powerful and very few people have the will power to overcome them. Of course the choice is up to the individual but each person isn't given the same script in life. I refuse to fault people for choices when their situations are tough. But I also don't exuse them. If I did, I'd be a completely different woman today.



I was born unconscious--I even read "dead" on some of the files about me--with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. I've always thought that was the reason I was such a skinny and frail looking kid. I wasn't pretty and I definately didn't have flashy things. I learned very quickly that I could get praise, recognition and stand apart from most if I was smart. I loved to have the praise and respect of people I praised and respected. And I carried that with me through my whole life. Education was my ticket to be something greater. In addition God had given me the talent to sing. And that also became my passion in life. But I digress...I was adopted into a crazy mess of a situation and of those who know what foster care is like just amplify that situation by the fact no social workers would come to visit anymore and check on things. Without being disrespectful to the person who did raise me and the woman it took years to forgive I'll just say the abuse was overwhelming. And I know the difference between correcting a child and abuse. But beyond the physical it was the verbal abuse that I think had me and my five adopted sisters the most screwed up. Being told that no one wanted you in the first place so you should be lucky to have even the little scraps of things can really hinder your self esteem. To this day I struggle with reminding myself that I'm worth more than people try to tell me.



Again, I excelled in school, took to my faith, and taught myself how to write songs and how to sing them. Now I'm not saying I was a saint. I'm saying this was my hustle. I took the hard way. I did the right things and didn't let my circumstances control my destiny. Remember, I have five adopted sisters. Some chose drugs, some chose promiscuity, some chose to succumb to someone's image of them as nothing and some chose to not speak on it at all. It's easy to brag about what you have in life when you never had to fight for it. It's even easier to brag about what you have if you never had to do what's right for it. Everything I have I earned. I worked for. It was never handed to me. I can look around my whole entire apartment and see things I paid for--things I worked for. I remember washing dishes till 3am at McDonalds when I was 15 so I could afford my food, clothes, rent--yes rent--and still get the things I needed for school that the person who was supposed to provide for me wouldn't. I was always taking classes a few grades more advanced and making my mark doing community service and trying hard to catch up to the priveledged kids that surrounded me in school on a daily basis. Do you know I was never allowed to join chorus in school because of additional costs? I did my sophomore year because I paid for my own things. That was the most intimidating thing. To join the state's top choir and be surrounded by girls who had vocal coaches and been to Broadway and knew the art of classical singing and jazz singing. I had never even imagined all the history and techniques behind singing at that time. But I wasn't satisfied with just being in the chorus class but I wanted to be in the exclusive groups with all those girls, too. And I did it. First year in chorus I got a coveted solo in a Women's Ensemble for all of our Christmas shows. I can still remember how shocked people were when my teacher chose me. I live for that feeling.



In conclusion--just between us girls--I don't respect anyone's hustle who had situations handed to them. Oprah is a true hustler to me. Mary J. Blige is a true hustler to me. I even respect the Kardashian women because they took their privelege and they work to make a name for themselves. I'm not saying you didn't work hard if you had a better life--I'm saying you're not as strong as the person who didn't. Beyonce has nothing on Keyshia Cole's hustle. And some of you ladies out here rocking all the labels, driving fancy cars, and spending a lot of someone elses money are the first to look down on others not knowing what they went through to have the little they have. Then you wanna call yourself a diva. You know, its way easier to abort your kid if you get pregnant at a young age than it is to have him and raise him. I respect the women who do that. The women who work shit jobs because they understand the benefits for their kids. I respect the hustle of those who come from nothing and become something. I respect women to understand the strength behind education, earning their own, and having a skill. So don't tell me you work hard. Don't tell me you're grinding. Don't tell me to look at all you have. Cause I know what I had to go through to get what I have and it wasn't easy at all. I love and admire my mom for having a hustle most of you wouldn't dream. She cleaned up her life and has been clean for over a decade. She came and searched for me and filled that missing piece in my heart. To this day if I need anything I know I could call her. She's in school now, working overtime every week, owns her own house and is the boss lady of her family. Ladies, it's about time we stop throwing around the word "hustle" and respect the women who actually do. This blog is not even a pin drop of the things I have had to overcome in life. Don't put me on the same level as you when you know my will power has been tried and tested and strengthened and you never even had to use yours.



Stay beautiful inside and out!

Friday, July 17, 2009

I Become a Hoe When...

Calm down fellas. It's not what you think. But this blog is for you and i'm sure my ladies can relate and agree. This blog is for all the married and booed up men that can't seem to keep their hands out of the cookie jar. It's a disgusting and annoying and immature habit that you guys have and you need to quit. Seriously. It's 2009, you don't have to be with that girl if you really don't want to be. If she's paying your bills or making life easier for you to the point where you don't wanna leave then the least she deserves from you is your loyalty you bastard.

Now I'm very open about the fact that I rather have a friend with benefits if not for any other reason than the fact that I am a commitment-phobe as I am young and ambitious and grew up with traditional Christian values of what a woman's role is in a relationship. That's why when I'm not exactly your girlfriend I still feel free and open to pursue my dreams and neglect helping you with yours. So when I ask you if you have a girlfriend or if you are married and you tell me no that's what I expect to be true. Trust me, I'm not trying to spring commitment on you as a surprise but more I'd rather build a friendship and keep my chances for disease low. We can talk and that's just fine for me. AS LONG AS YOUR'RE SINGLE.

I become a hoe when YOU ARE NOT SINGLE! When you actually have a girlfriend and/or a wife then you have made me a hoe. And I have no choice in the matter. Because when your woman finds out, that's how you're gonna treat me and that's just how shit goes. Cause if this situation goes down with one of my girls there ain't no way in the world the other girl isn't automatically the hoe. Now I am too good to be anyone's jumpoff. And I'm sure as hell not gonna bring that kinda karma into my life. It's one thing for a girl to know that you're in a relationship and not care but when I tell you that I care and the possibility of us eventually being together is all my mother needs to be happy then please please please please please don't act suprised when I cut your ass off after I find out that you aren't single. That's a level of skeeze I'm not going to approach for anything.

In conclusion--just between us ladies--we shouldn't settle for second best with any guy. It's never worth it. Cause when you have to think about the fact that your calls are ignored so hers can be taken, that she's watching all the movies you're hoping to see with him, that he actually tells her HE LOVES HER, and that she can make plans with him whenever she wants without any restrictions--why would you knowingly do that to yourself? We let men get away with so much! Listen to Latoya Luckett--"No more settling for less" You better cop that single if you have an issue with this and say "I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE!"

Stay beautiful inside and out!

It's What's for Dinner

If you had the chance to read Vegetarian Mindset then you know what I mean when I say "I spoke too soon." If you haven't had the chance to read it then go ahead...I'll wait...you good? Good. I can officially say that I HAVE BEEF! It's crazy cause you think if you keep to yourself, seperate the real from the fake, and mind your business you can escape it. Clearly false.

So why would a sweet, loving, educated woman of my stature have beef with anyone? Well it goes like this: I finally came to the clear understanding that someone I used to do-everything-but-call-it-dating with was not a friend of mine but an opportunist and a user. Now he'll swear up and down that he thought we were cool and I'm only mad because I expected something and never got it but trust me--when someone is practically living at your house and you tell them that things gotta change when you find out about his girlfriend and then you never hear from them again--that is not your friend. Sorry buddy. I was a friend to you because I went without plenty of times so you could have. I opened up my house and my loved ones to you as well. I was your friend. You were not mine.

So this GIRL and him work in the same place. We link through a mutual friend and I tell her lets chill and shoot the shit, get to know each other because I respect a boss bitch as much as any female who's secure in her shit. She wants me to chill where she works and I tell her that I'd rather not run into that guy and why. Granted I shoulda known after she told me a bald face lie at dinner and also told me she lost her virginity at 13 (not judging but that tells me where someone's head is at) that I shouldn't be tellin this girl shit. There's something very childish about her actions--the way she swears she's makin moves, the way she talks to people who work with her, the way she clowns dudes who really like her for the fun of it. It's funny how being 5 years older than someone can seem like centuries...

Anyway, I get a call from him tellin me that he's been hearing people talk around town and that I've been running my mouth and ruining his name or whatever he said. I was caught off guard at first and he kept saying he thought we were cool and I tried to tell him as best I could that unfortunately he treated me like a skank hoe and there is no way I could be friends with someone like that but he hung up on me. Now my first reaction to was to want to call the bitch up and ask her why in hell would my name need to come up in a conversation with him and then tell her how I know her dirt and get "Ghetto Shanetto" on her. But thank God I have a brain that lets me think because I don't want to mess up someone's job over bull. Granted this person did me wrong but I respect the fact that he is working hard to get where he needs to go.

In conclusion--just between us girls--I officially have beef with someone. She should know by now even though I haven't said anything directly to her. And I won't out of respect for someone's job but I would like to just mush her little ass without explanation. You know how some people aren't even worth the full effort of a punch? Yeah just a flat mush to the face for this broad. Why would you cause drama with someone you barley even know? Why would you bring drama to my door and tell him somethin that I was going to tell him when the time was right? Some people just don't know that because I act nice doesn't mean I'm a nice girl. I was born uncomfortable and I been fighthing my whole life and I'm not gonna let no one make me uncomfortable that isn't trying to make me a better person.