Rihanna Honored Alongside Michelle Obama?

Ok. Hold on. Rihanna gets honored as Women of the Year along side Michelle Obama? I can't wrap my head around that just yet. I feel like pulling a Kanye and saying "Hold up Rihanna, i'ma let you finish but Tina Turner had one of the best domestic violence stances of all time."

 If you've had the chance to read my blog "Punches and Publicity" you may understand better just why I'm a little speechless on this. Ladies please comment and tell me how you feel about this. I can't deny that Rihanna was brave for staying away from Chris Brown and speaking out about the "incident" but I have been around domestic violence situations and this isn't like the rest.

Rihanna had the pressure of the media to keep her away from Chris Brown. Remember, she went back--as is normal in situations like that--and I believe that if she wasn't under the spotlight she would still be with him. She's right that the feelings just don't go away and it's clear to everyone she still loves him. I guess I'm just a little taken aback that she would be honored for a decision that may have been forced upon her.

In conclusion--just between us girls--does it matter what her true reasons for leaving Chris are? If one young girl decides to leave an abusive relationship because of Rihanna does that warrant an award? I don't know if I can agree. The Woman of the Year award is for HER stance on domestic abuse. I sincerely don't believe she would have chosen to be away from Chris if her career didn't depend on it and if there wasn't so much media pressure.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Punches and Publicity: Rihanna Speaks Out

I watched the interview of Rihanna on Diane Sawyer and my initial reaction was to be proud of her for staying strong and being able leave Chris. It's obvious that she still loves him. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I've run back a few times to a man who was abusive. No, he never hit me but he was verbally abusive--knew just what to say to make me feel like nothing--and since I thought I loved him, every time he said sorry I was happy to forgive. So I can understand what it takes to be away from someone you love who has made a mistake like this (granted it may be easier with  the media and corporate sponsors pressuring you.)

But before I had the chance to sit down and hear her side of the story I was one of many who didn't even want to hear her side. It's been almost a year since the incident, Chris Brown has done his best to make a comeback with his tarnished image, and I know I have been ready to forgive him. What he did was horrifying but I can't believe he deserves the "Ike Turner" label at such a young age. He made a mistake. But with Rihanna now spilling her guts (leaving out what happened in between the text message and the beating) I couldn't help but say to myself, "Wow. Chris Brown is a monster."

You should all know by now the Twitter addiction I have (follow me: IamDivaGlam) and my twit fam and I talked about the TIMING of this tell-all. Rihanna has a new album scheduled to come out this month. Now if I didn't have a degree in public relations I wouldn't have had such a bad reaction to the idea of her coming clean at this time. It's clear that she is using the beating as publicity for her album. Yes, we want to know what happened that night. But we sincerely cared about what happened that night in FEBRUARY. I understand that this incident may be the inspiration for her new album and an interview does go hand in hand. But for her to not release any statements about the incident prior to now leaves a bad taste in my mouth. As far as I know she never released any statement--her people did to let us know she was okay--but they never advised her to at least say she couldn't speak for legal reasons or whatever the case may be. Waiting until her album is ready to drop to spill all is just distasteful. I follow Cynamin Jones on Twitter and she said, "Girls needed your voice THEN. Not now."

In conclusion--just between us girls--I believe that overall Rihanna is a brave young woman for going what she went through and deciding that she needed to be apart from the man she loves. And as a celebrity she doesn't owe us the details. It never hurts to clear up rumors but in the end our questions about that night could have remained unanswered. Her timing however is in poor taste. She says she doesn't want this to damage Chris' career but how can it not? Seeing those images, hearing that he may have been cheating, imagining Chris with "no soul" aren't doing anything to build his image.

The main issue is the domestic violence though. I grew up with it first hand and like Rihanna I vow to never be that woman. If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence I encourage you to speak out and get help. All too often I see it as common among people of color but IT'S NOT OKAY. Like Rihanna says "Eff love." That may be the only way to guarantee you will live. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hrs a day at 1.800.799.SAFE or visit them online http://www.ndvh.org/

Stay beautiful inside and out.

Naked pics: Worth the risk?

Recently there have been a bunch of scandals linked to celebs and naked or naughty pics. I had the pleasure of viewing the pics of Cassie Ventura, Rihanna, and some girl named Danger. I'm not saying that I enjoyed the pictures so pause. I am saying that I found myself amongst a social outcry on Twitter brought on by the wonderful and talented Amanda Diva herself. I have no problems with her. She's an amazing woman--talented, artistic, articulate--pretty much a chick I'd have as a friend but I could not believe that she felt that the leaked pictures of Cassie and Rhianna were in the same boat as that girl Danger (who by the way has no clue that nowadays we LANDSCAPE.)

From what I could tell the pictures of Cassie and Rihanna were for private use. Whether or not someone they trusted leaked them or they did it for attention--I'm not gonna judge. I'd rather give these women the benefit of the doubt and say they never intended those to leave the comforts of their cell phones or computers. Now I'm no celebrity but I can imagine that the constant scheduling of appearances and shows don't allow you the normal amount of time to spend with the one you love. And Soulja Boy just says "kiss me through the phone" but I already interpreted that to mean so much more lol. How can one NOT see that as an obvious way to "connect" while you're away from your special someone? Maybe I'm just a freak then because that's something that makes perfect sense to me. Long distances are best bridged by instant photos and videos lol. I mean, I'd rather my man have picture of me to keep him going than pick up some groupie or hooker. I'm just saying.

I guess, the point she was bringing up was self respect. That's a great point. But I think that self respect in this case is all relative. Like I said Paris was a slut over her tape and I was disgusted at Kim Kardashian but I felt for Vanessa Hudgeons and Adrian Bailon and Ri Ri. They are in longterm, committed relationships and just because they are celebrities doesn't mean they should have to live like animals under a microscope. That's where I see society has a fault. Fame comes with a loss of privacy but it doesn't mean these celebs don't have a right to privacy. I think we as a society tend to overlook that with our need to know more more more about them.

I don't think that in the proper context Rihanna can be judged negatively. So no, I don't think that she should have to think about how this affects her young fans, black women, or anyone else for that matter.

In conclusion--just between us girls--once it's done it's done. You may think at the moment that this is what you want but I always say regretting something you did is exponentially worse than regretting something you didn't do. Because you can't take it back once you do it or say it. You only spend your life cleaning up the mess or praying no one finds it. We're all guilty of being young and stupid at some point. The idea is to learn from it.


Stay beautiful inside and out!