Love is a Four Week Word

Maybe it's just me, but I'm suprised that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got married after only a month or so of dating. And apparently a lot of people seem to be happy for them. E! reportedly paid a cool 1 million dollars for the wedding and Khloe was able to sell the photos to some publication for $300,000 so publicity stunt or not--the new Mrs. Lamar Odom came out like a thief. Not to mention, the star-studded guest list and the fact that she looked the best we've seen her after her weight loss. She looked AMAZING in her Vera Wang dress.

Shocked as I am, I'm happy for her if she's happy. She's my favorite Kardashian sister and she cracks me up. I'm sure she's always had to deal  with being in the shadow of her two sisters since the media is shallow and harsh. This is the first time she's been the star of the three: Kim's scandolous break up, Kourtney's pregnancy, Khloe's shotgun wedding. This is definately a trio that knows how to work the press. All "publicity stunt" questions aside--I truly want to know if my readers believe in this day and age you can find love in four weeks? And not just find love in four weeks but the kinda love that makes you want to get married?

In conclusion-just between us girls--we don't live in the 1950s. People don't get married at 18 and stay married till they die anymore. People don't wait to lose their virginities till they're married. And I dare say that most people have no idea that a marriage is a full time job in itself. I mean, I lost hope in the sanctity of marriage years ago because people have no idea how to make a promise and do everything they can to keep it. I believe that a marriage should be two people coming together to build something greater--whether that be family, business, or quality of life. It's a partnership and should always be in constant forward motion. So all that, on top of needing to get to know someone I wouldn't rush into marriage. Not in this day and age. There's so much that we're exposed to, so much that we can get caught up in. I know you can fall in love fast but MARRIAGE is the thing that should be done with a lot of thought and consideration. My favorite chapter in the Bible is Proverbs 31. That woman is not only a great mother, she's a great wife. She's an inspiration to her family and she works hard to bring home the bacon--and fry it up. I aspire to be just like that. We lose the idea that you can be a strong woman and be a wife these days. I'm sorry but i don't believe love and marriage go togther like a horse and carriage after just four weeks.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Swizz+Alicia+Mashonda=Twitter Triangle

Ugh! This hurts me to my heart! But ugh *clutches chest* I can't believe that this is truly what the love between two of my most favorite artists has become. I just had to speak on it. To quote Swizz I am "gossiping about things [I] know nothing about" but I decided to do it since it's a perfect triangle that relates to us women. I had a great conversation about it via a friend on Twitter who has the complete opposite opinion as I do. And thus I was motivated to write this blog.

As a Twitter freakazoid I actually responded to Alicia Keys tweet: “Having a heated debate n the studio. Question is…N love is it better to go 4 the choice that is ‘SMART’ or the choice that has ‘SPARK’??” I responded something along the lines "I'm looking for SMART but still miss my SPARK" and I'm sure there was a emoticon somewhere in that tweet as well. If you follow my blog you know that I have a constant thing for my very first love that I can't seem to shake. But it just never seems to work with us. Well, that little tweet from Keys ignited a plethora of feelings for Mashonda, Swizz Beatz's wife. (Read the letter here http://www.rap-up.com/2009/09/26/mashondas-open-letter-to-alicia-keys/ )

If you've been living under a rock, you may not know that my favorite celebrity Swizz Beatz and my favorite singer Alicia Keys have been keeping their relationship under wraps for about two years. As Swizz seeks divorce Mashonda stated from the jump that she had no idea her marriage was in trouble and that Keys had been the cause of the demise of her marriage. When I first caught wind of the drama I was happy for Swizz. I mean Alicia Keys is beautiful, talented, a strong, creative woman. I think men should be paired with women who mirror their intangible traits. That makes for stronger bonds and better understanding. I wanted Swizz to be happy and since apparently Keys isn't a lesbian I thought she was the perfect fit for a talented and artisitc indivual as Swizz. I remembered saying that Mashonda wasn't handling her wifely duties and must have been preoccupied to not know the marriage was in trouble. I put the blame on her. I even laughed when Swizz commented that it wasn't a big deal "people get divorced every fuckin day." That was before I got Mashonda's story.

Now I'm deflated and disappointed at both Swizz and Alicia. I truly had no idea that Mashonda had just had a child and I did not know that she wanted to try and hold on to her husband and her marriage. I never really thought about what it means to take vows and to have them challenged. Aren't you supposed to try and work it out? I think she has every right to be bitter. I think she has every right to lash out. Do I think it's appropriate to do it on Twitter? Maybe not but I'm glad she had the guts to say "You stole my husband but because I'm the mother of his child we have to come to some understanding."

In conclusion-just between us girls-when do we let the guilty take the blame? I'd be a hypocrite if I let Swizz off the hook in this whole thing. One thing I always say is married men are a complete turn off for me. I try and respect my fellow female by not approaching what is clearly out of reach. What makes another woman disregard that wedding ring I will never know. It's not like she just slept with him either. She stole him. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad to think about. Alicia Keys saw what she wanted and went after it. My heart wants to believe she tried to say no but the "sparks" were just to much to overcome. Now I don't believe for one second that Mashonda should be to blame for this whole thing. We can rationalize why Swizz cheated but we can't pretend that marriage is all sunshine and rainbows. When you get married you're supposed to work through problems, keep your eye on your spouse, focus on keeping that bond that wanted to you promise your life to another in the first place. Celebrities are human and that's so clear from this situation. We can learn from them, relate to them, and hopefully avoid making the same mistakes. Ladies, let's be true to ourselves, each other, and then the men. Because like I say-we let men get away with so much.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Manwhore Epidemic

Ladies, we have a problem. Well, I think its a problem anyway. We have men running wild out in society--sleeping with any girl that has a fat ass--and then retiring from "the game" and going in search of good "less experienced" women. Now that's not the only thing that I think is the problem. The main problem is these same men are the first to call a woman a hoe but then and then turn around and be a whore themselves. Can I please dig the term "manwhore" up from the grave? Cause we have have epidemic on our hands.

I don't know if I'm truly a feminist at heart but I think that there is a huge problem in society when it comes to sexual equality. Christina Aquilera said it best, "When you look back in history there's a common double standard in society. The guy gets all the glory the more he can score and the girl and do the same and yet you call her a whore." Now, I'm not saying lets screw our way to equality ladies. I'm saying our sexuality is not our own. As women, we still have to succumb to the standards of society. No matter how old fashioned and confining it is.

What I choose to do sexually I keep in between me and my partner. I'm not really out there like that and you'll notice in past posts that I refer to sex as the "love game." Truth be told "sex" was a bad word in my house growing up. We spelled it out--never said the word. For years I committed myself to abstinence until I was married. Then I decided that marriage is a lie and not what I was brought up to believe it was and chose to wait till I was in love. I was 23 years old when that happened (at least, I thought I was in love.) I have to admit I do feel a little self conscious about being that old because while I was practicing my abstinence I was never educating myself on anything sexually. I mean disease and pregnancy were both things I didn't want and my education ended there. But I never allowed myself to feel out of control with what I chose to do with my body. Whether I was being abstinent or picking a partner I always felt in control of my sexuality. I have been educating myself and learning that its okay to talk about sex, to admit that you want to have sex, and to admit that you are having sex. Dialogue keeps everyone healthy and safe.

Every time I turn on the radio I hear people talking about sex. Rappers talking about "hoes" and how they treat them. Singers admitting that all they wanna do is sleep with the beautiful young ladies they meet in the club. Its out there in the open. What I don't get is how a rapper who sleeps with a zillion women can get away with calling anyone a hoe. And from rapper to the average Joe Schmoe to have the audacity to get his freak on with every chick he sees and then say that they won't wife a chick with "too many miles" on her would be laughable if it wasn't so disgusting. I was watching that movie "Maid of Honor" you know the one with McDreamy in it? Now THAT guy was a manwhore. Imagine if the role had been reversed. See? Not as much of a romantic comedy! Manwhores run around town like fleas jumpin from one girl to another, always with the same lines, same outcome. Especially when a girl ends up sleeping with them on the first night--all kinds of disrespect ensues. I always think "didn't you sleep with her the first night you met her? What makes your decision to sleep with her less skeezy? The fact that you're a dude?" I don't buy it and neither should you.

In conclusion--just between us girls--Its like we're living in this world of chasity where it's just best to pretend that you aren't having sex at all if you're a female. Cause there is a difference between a hoe and a sexually active female...but putting it into writing it still sounds skeezy for both types of girls. I'll admit, I'm hit with that old world disdain for sexually uninhibited females. I grew up in church--a very strict one--and thought having sex without being married was the ultimate devaluing act of a female for 23 years. My main concern is that we as women own our sexuality. Don't let men who can't even count the number of females they have been with--less more remember their names--put a value on who you are as a woman. Because I'm out so much I see the dudes that scam on girls, then get on twitter tryna sweet talk girls, then in the same breath talk about hoes like they aren't one themselves. I think its time that we as women call them out and treat them as such. Once we realize the power that we have because of our sexuality we can run the world. Nations have fallen because of women. I may not have the same values as other women but I respect every woman's sexual choice from virgin to prostitute because I don't have the right to judge anyone on how they choose to live. But where do we draw the line between cheapening ourselves and owning up to the fact that we are sexual beings as well? That, my friend, you'll decide on your own based on your morals or religion.

Stay beautiful inside and out!