Milk & Cookies

 It's almost winter and I am looking for sombody I can call boo as Ciara would say. But until I find that special winter wonderland I'm still just bouncing around with the Mr. Right Nows. Don't judge me. We all have needs and some of us aren't afraid to admit it.

Now, like I said, I never thought I'd be sexually active without being married but life has turned out to be that way for me. A tragic tale of blind love (or lust) and crippling heartbreak and here I am two years later as "the cow that's giving the milk away for free." Let's be honest since it's just us girls, most of you are too. We're unmarried and giving away the milk.

The reason I had always wanted to hold on to my virginity is because I saw myself as something special--a prize to be given to the most worthy. And I truly believed that my man was gonna buy the cow. But since that didn't happen and I'm giving away the milk for free, how do I save something special for the man who does decide to buy the cow? That my friends, I call "cookies."

"Cookies" are those little extras that I save only for someone special to me. There a places I am willing to go sexually that won't venture into with just any ol' body. For example, I don't send pictures of my body to random dudes. That's probably one thing guys hate most about me. It's the first thing they need being visual creatures but the last thing I'm willing to give up. I don't like the idea of having my body on display for someone who could give two shits about me. I cringe at the thought that my ass or boobs or 'area' being a part of some loser's phone montage of chicks.

I always told myself I'd be adventurous in the bedroom for my man because we know what they say, "What you won't do another chick will." I truly believe in allowing your man to act out his sexual fantasies with you to maintain a level of excitement and freedom in your relationship. Granted I don't think that will keep him from cheating but I believe the duty of a good woman or wife is to be there for her man on that level.

In conclusion--just between us girls--treat your "cookies" like the deserts of your sexual encounters. Don't give them to just anyone. Guys expect so much from us sexually these days without making any committment. I can't tell you how many times a man has approached me on a first encounter about sex. With sex flooding our mainstream media and music on the regular it's understandable. But in a society where men are getting free milk we just HAVE to make them buy the cookies. Don't be a little freak in the bedroom for just any ol' body. Make a list of things that you want to reserve for your someone special. Make somethings sacred. One thing I have made sacred is my naked body. I also make sex in any place besides a bedroom off limits. Those are just some of the G rated things I can list. Think about some things that you would like to save for that special someone and list them below in the comments. My list is pretty long and some things guys raise eyebrows about but don't get it twisted "shorty is a freak--but only for her man though."

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Manwhore Epidemic

Ladies, we have a problem. Well, I think its a problem anyway. We have men running wild out in society--sleeping with any girl that has a fat ass--and then retiring from "the game" and going in search of good "less experienced" women. Now that's not the only thing that I think is the problem. The main problem is these same men are the first to call a woman a hoe but then and then turn around and be a whore themselves. Can I please dig the term "manwhore" up from the grave? Cause we have have epidemic on our hands.

I don't know if I'm truly a feminist at heart but I think that there is a huge problem in society when it comes to sexual equality. Christina Aquilera said it best, "When you look back in history there's a common double standard in society. The guy gets all the glory the more he can score and the girl and do the same and yet you call her a whore." Now, I'm not saying lets screw our way to equality ladies. I'm saying our sexuality is not our own. As women, we still have to succumb to the standards of society. No matter how old fashioned and confining it is.

What I choose to do sexually I keep in between me and my partner. I'm not really out there like that and you'll notice in past posts that I refer to sex as the "love game." Truth be told "sex" was a bad word in my house growing up. We spelled it out--never said the word. For years I committed myself to abstinence until I was married. Then I decided that marriage is a lie and not what I was brought up to believe it was and chose to wait till I was in love. I was 23 years old when that happened (at least, I thought I was in love.) I have to admit I do feel a little self conscious about being that old because while I was practicing my abstinence I was never educating myself on anything sexually. I mean disease and pregnancy were both things I didn't want and my education ended there. But I never allowed myself to feel out of control with what I chose to do with my body. Whether I was being abstinent or picking a partner I always felt in control of my sexuality. I have been educating myself and learning that its okay to talk about sex, to admit that you want to have sex, and to admit that you are having sex. Dialogue keeps everyone healthy and safe.

Every time I turn on the radio I hear people talking about sex. Rappers talking about "hoes" and how they treat them. Singers admitting that all they wanna do is sleep with the beautiful young ladies they meet in the club. Its out there in the open. What I don't get is how a rapper who sleeps with a zillion women can get away with calling anyone a hoe. And from rapper to the average Joe Schmoe to have the audacity to get his freak on with every chick he sees and then say that they won't wife a chick with "too many miles" on her would be laughable if it wasn't so disgusting. I was watching that movie "Maid of Honor" you know the one with McDreamy in it? Now THAT guy was a manwhore. Imagine if the role had been reversed. See? Not as much of a romantic comedy! Manwhores run around town like fleas jumpin from one girl to another, always with the same lines, same outcome. Especially when a girl ends up sleeping with them on the first night--all kinds of disrespect ensues. I always think "didn't you sleep with her the first night you met her? What makes your decision to sleep with her less skeezy? The fact that you're a dude?" I don't buy it and neither should you.

In conclusion--just between us girls--Its like we're living in this world of chasity where it's just best to pretend that you aren't having sex at all if you're a female. Cause there is a difference between a hoe and a sexually active female...but putting it into writing it still sounds skeezy for both types of girls. I'll admit, I'm hit with that old world disdain for sexually uninhibited females. I grew up in church--a very strict one--and thought having sex without being married was the ultimate devaluing act of a female for 23 years. My main concern is that we as women own our sexuality. Don't let men who can't even count the number of females they have been with--less more remember their names--put a value on who you are as a woman. Because I'm out so much I see the dudes that scam on girls, then get on twitter tryna sweet talk girls, then in the same breath talk about hoes like they aren't one themselves. I think its time that we as women call them out and treat them as such. Once we realize the power that we have because of our sexuality we can run the world. Nations have fallen because of women. I may not have the same values as other women but I respect every woman's sexual choice from virgin to prostitute because I don't have the right to judge anyone on how they choose to live. But where do we draw the line between cheapening ourselves and owning up to the fact that we are sexual beings as well? That, my friend, you'll decide on your own based on your morals or religion.

Stay beautiful inside and out!