I feel like this is my diary all of a sudden. My therapy. Cause I know I can't be the only one going through the drama I am going through. Normally I have more life altering drama like paying bills, family, and health--those things I can deal with like a super hero. But MEN are my kryptonite. I have only been dating for a year and a half and I have had nothing but issues. Maybe it's me but for this blog's sake we can't even consider that lol.
Let me tell you what this blog is about: T-shirt ex. You have to read back to The Boomerang Theory to get the details on this so go ahead and do it now....I'll wait...ok...you good? Good. So T-shirt ex has a girlfriend and I had been on and off with him for about a year and a half. We never called it dating and I always clarified when the question came up that we weren't dating. But we were doing everything but calling it dating--and I mean everything.
We stopped "not dating" when I found out he had a girlfriend through Myspace. Believe me, God looks out for me because it came at a time when I was really starting to fall for him and her picture just shined through from all the top 89 people. She had a cute short 'do like Rihanna and I wanted see more pics. Now her page is private so I couldn't see everything. But if you have one of those new layouts sometimes people can see everything but your blogs and pictures. That's how her page was. Now she was updating status's about being in love, her friends were commenting on how happy they were for her relationship and all that jazz and my babe was the only person in her top. Not the only guy in her top. The only person. Meaning homegirl had a TOP 1 and he was it. She also listed him as her most favorite artist--in that "last but not least" kinda deal. Barf city.
I called him out on it and he refused to own up to it, got all defensive and said some hurtful ish. I figured we could still move on as friends since he was my dude and told him the love games would be over. He'll call and try to act like it never happended with the usual banter and I'll play back to it but in my mind he's the worse kind of liar. That girl looks so sweet and genuinely seems to love him. I remember writing him "why risk someone you love for someone that doesn't love you?" Cheating is an awful thing. I will admit that homegirl was gorgeous about a zillion times smaller than me and she seems so sweet. So the only thing I concluded is he's using me for all I got and she must not have ish.
That was a little over a month ago. I never said anything to her. I didn't want to burst her lovely bubble. But recently I stumbled upon his twitter profile and just stumbled across hers and I been thinking about blowing his spot up so bad. I mean if she ONLY KNEW how him and I were. I really think she'd Charles Hamilton his ass. He's out there doing his thing tryna be a celebrity, enjoying life with a girl who loves him for who she thinks he is when in reality he's a lying opportunist.
In conclusion--just between us girls--what should I do? If you were her what would you want me to do? I don't want to do anything out of jealously and I don't need anymore drama. I did the right thing and cut things off but we still check in every now and then. Keeping secrets is easy but dealing with the secret is hard.
Stay beautiful inside and out.
Monday, May 25, 2009
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
Ok you have to go back and read Magnets n Mixed Signals to get this one so do it right now...I'll wait....ok....you good? Good. I spent over three hours on the phone w Sam and I'll have admit I was a little overboard in the aformentioned blog. I failed to realize that just maybe the night wasn't about me and it coulda been about something way more important--like say I dunno--a $50k investment going horribly wrong. I have to be honest, I felt a little stupid once he explained and apologized that I felt he was rude to me and my friends .We agreed he has a temper and was really heated that night. He was thinking about knocking people out over issues with the DJ, dresscode, bar tabs. I was thinking: this dude "loves to open old wounds." Ha. Sometimes, I am a little too into my own mind.
Now he and I had the chance to talk about why we just cant seem to work--we always are fighting over the little things and I end up apologizing for everything just to calm him down. We both agree that he is an asshole as well. He's from Brooklyn--they say they make REAL men in Brooklyn lol. He just has that "I don't give a f*ck about anything" attitude and he says what's on his mind. And I appreciate that in him. If you've read my blog "Where's all the men at?" then you know how I generally feel about men. This guy is so real that I can't help but be attracted to him. A lot of dudes out here are fake and I love that he can point it out. He is impressed by no one--not even himself--always trying to better himself physically, financially, and mentally. He was suprised at how long we've known each other and been going through all this and asked me if the reason I can't let go was because his "love game" was so on point. Although it's hands down the BEST I ever had--that's not why. It's because as I an independent woman I appreciate a man that is able to handle a man's role as my counterpart. I trust his intuition and I trust his confidence. And yeah--his body is incredible ;)
In conclusion--just between us girls--I'm glad I had the courage to answer he phone the fifth time he called haha. We were having a heated argument over NOTHING and he hung up on me. I proceeded to let him call back and cuss out my voicemail a few times. Ish got serious--I shed a few tears--and then we both took a second to let the other say their piece. I'm not saying that he and I will be together. I'm saying we care about each other enough to apologize and set things right. We bump heads more often than not--he says im annoying I say he's an asshole--he says I'm hardheaded I say he's bipolar lol--but in the end we have this unspoken agreement to respect each other. So no matter what guy drama you have--exes or currents--mutual respect will go a long way.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Now he and I had the chance to talk about why we just cant seem to work--we always are fighting over the little things and I end up apologizing for everything just to calm him down. We both agree that he is an asshole as well. He's from Brooklyn--they say they make REAL men in Brooklyn lol. He just has that "I don't give a f*ck about anything" attitude and he says what's on his mind. And I appreciate that in him. If you've read my blog "Where's all the men at?" then you know how I generally feel about men. This guy is so real that I can't help but be attracted to him. A lot of dudes out here are fake and I love that he can point it out. He is impressed by no one--not even himself--always trying to better himself physically, financially, and mentally. He was suprised at how long we've known each other and been going through all this and asked me if the reason I can't let go was because his "love game" was so on point. Although it's hands down the BEST I ever had--that's not why. It's because as I an independent woman I appreciate a man that is able to handle a man's role as my counterpart. I trust his intuition and I trust his confidence. And yeah--his body is incredible ;)
In conclusion--just between us girls--I'm glad I had the courage to answer he phone the fifth time he called haha. We were having a heated argument over NOTHING and he hung up on me. I proceeded to let him call back and cuss out my voicemail a few times. Ish got serious--I shed a few tears--and then we both took a second to let the other say their piece. I'm not saying that he and I will be together. I'm saying we care about each other enough to apologize and set things right. We bump heads more often than not--he says im annoying I say he's an asshole--he says I'm hardheaded I say he's bipolar lol--but in the end we have this unspoken agreement to respect each other. So no matter what guy drama you have--exes or currents--mutual respect will go a long way.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Bathroom Etiquette
I'm talking about how to act in a club ladies. The ish I have seen is ridiculous lol. Can't say I haven't broken a few rules myself but LAWD I felt I needed to say this.
1. Never puke in the bathroom sink at a club. Not only is it disgusting it prevents everyone else from being able to leave the bathroom in a timely manner because there is one less sink.
2. If you're 25 or older you can't dance full out to any song. Why? Cause that's obnoxious to see. C'mon, when I was 18 and didn't drink all I could do was dance. Now I pick a song to get down to and sway around to every other song. You are not being paid to do that anyway. Save it for the GoGo girls.
3. If you must dirty dance with a boy, keep it to yourself. Please do not be all up on me so you can put your back into it. I don't know you like that.
4. If you're too twisted to walk straight by yourself keep your butt still near your girls. Last thing anyone needs is a fight to break out over me losing my drink because your girl has had one too many.
5. Keep track of your friends. If Miss Thang needs to go say hello to a cutie watch her--cutie may have a girl with him and if ish goes down you don't wanna miss it.
6. Dress for the occasion. If there is a theme, try and participate. If it's upscale, go divaglam. And if its not, don't overdress--you don't look cute you look dumb.
7. Respond to the DJ. It's painful watchin a DJ struggle with the crowd. You can't really talk anyway so the least you can do is help the vibe. You're there to have fun aren't you?
8. Always tip your bartender. If I said it once, I'll say it twice--FREE DRINKS ARE NOT FREE. You just save some money. The people behind the bars got bills to pay. Plus you won't have to deal with saying "This drink is weak because its' free." They'll keep you good :)
9. Don't wait till the lights come on to bag that cutie. For obvious reasons lol
10. Go out and show out. Please go out and drink, dance and make new friends. Look so good you have to come home and have a phonoshoot (u know where u use your cell for the myspace pic of the month lol) and above all else stay safe with a designated driver. If you leave the club with someone you didn't come with (naughty girl ;) give that info to your girls for the check in.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
1. Never puke in the bathroom sink at a club. Not only is it disgusting it prevents everyone else from being able to leave the bathroom in a timely manner because there is one less sink.
2. If you're 25 or older you can't dance full out to any song. Why? Cause that's obnoxious to see. C'mon, when I was 18 and didn't drink all I could do was dance. Now I pick a song to get down to and sway around to every other song. You are not being paid to do that anyway. Save it for the GoGo girls.
3. If you must dirty dance with a boy, keep it to yourself. Please do not be all up on me so you can put your back into it. I don't know you like that.
4. If you're too twisted to walk straight by yourself keep your butt still near your girls. Last thing anyone needs is a fight to break out over me losing my drink because your girl has had one too many.
5. Keep track of your friends. If Miss Thang needs to go say hello to a cutie watch her--cutie may have a girl with him and if ish goes down you don't wanna miss it.
6. Dress for the occasion. If there is a theme, try and participate. If it's upscale, go divaglam. And if its not, don't overdress--you don't look cute you look dumb.
7. Respond to the DJ. It's painful watchin a DJ struggle with the crowd. You can't really talk anyway so the least you can do is help the vibe. You're there to have fun aren't you?
8. Always tip your bartender. If I said it once, I'll say it twice--FREE DRINKS ARE NOT FREE. You just save some money. The people behind the bars got bills to pay. Plus you won't have to deal with saying "This drink is weak because its' free." They'll keep you good :)
9. Don't wait till the lights come on to bag that cutie. For obvious reasons lol
10. Go out and show out. Please go out and drink, dance and make new friends. Look so good you have to come home and have a phonoshoot (u know where u use your cell for the myspace pic of the month lol) and above all else stay safe with a designated driver. If you leave the club with someone you didn't come with (naughty girl ;) give that info to your girls for the check in.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Magnets n Mixed Signals
You know how we learned in school about magnets and how they attract and repel eachother? Well that's how me and Sam are (details in Boomerang Theory blog.) I cant seem to shake him no matter what I do. Its like Katy Perry says, "You're hot then you're cold. You're yes then you're no." I am all Sandra Dee for this guy--hopelessly devoted.
So I lied ladies in the last blog. Me n Sam weren't actually making plans to see each other yesterday. He invited me to this event he was a part of promoting via text. Short n quick. I texted back for details and never got a response. Called him my standard 48 hours later (you what I'm talkin bout ladies--countin the days till the call back lol) and he tells me he may be outta town. I'm thinkin perfect! I can go and not see him with the new girl and still do my review for the club (www.myspace.com/citybeautiful407 really ladies I been EVERYWHERE so if you follow the local reviews you won't have a bad night out.)
Anyways, with him it's like I can feel him. Now I haven't seen him since December although we talk on the phone sporadically (gotta love Clueless) and I got instant anxiety shoppin in the mall because I felt like he was gonna be there. I really did! And sure enough--I get in the club and the freak out begins because I knew he was there before I saw him. He proceeded to walk past me multiple times and not say hello, I texted him just to see if it was really him and got no response. Then I completely died when I saw him lol. Now my friends have no clue why I'm all over his shit but to me he was the most fliest fella in the club. He has beautiful eyes and a great smile and his body is amazing. His peen (courtesy of Necole Bitchie) is a work of art, ladies. I was back on this drug called Sam.
I finally get the guts to approach him since he's by his friend who's also my friend and I get a weak kiss on the cheek, fake hug, hands clasped infront of him, no eye contact and one word answers. I tried to strike up a conversation but I was starting to boil inside. I asked him why he was in town and he tried to tell me he said he had family in town. No sir--you told me flat out you were goin to NY on business and was mad you booked ur ticket at the last minute cause it cost you $5oo instead of $200. Liar. Finally I just mingled with our mutual friend catchin up while Sam turned his back to me and my girls to attend to his bottle of Moet. Dickwad.
I went through the many stages us women do at this point. I danced as sexy as I could in his eyeview, looked like I was having WAY too much fun, started flirting with every guy who gave me eye contact and eventually needed a bathroom break to recoup. I watched him roam around like he didn't see me, throwin back glasses of Mo, open up his muthsuckin shirt on stage and realized he likes to open up old wounds. In my song "Someday" I ask "How come I bruise but I don't heal?" Yeah that song is about him.
Standin outside the bathroom, he's standing right next to me two doors down. He looks at me and winks and gives me that little smile that melts my heart. I just shake my head and walk away. Lord knows I wanted to go over to him and dirty dance a little and smile but more of me wanted to punch him in that perfect mouth Charles Hamilton style.
In conclusion--just between us girls--you can't imagine how it feels to love someone who hurts you one day and says he loves you the next unless you've been through it. Now he's never hit me and I know he wouldn't ever--its more like magnets. I'm always ready to connect and he picks and chooses when he's ready. I have no control over anything. I hang on maybe because I know the man he can be--I seen him with other girls--or the fact that he's strangely a part of me. The mixed signals keep that fire going and against love I'm not strong enough to extinguish it. They say that “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”
Stay beautiful inside and out.
So I lied ladies in the last blog. Me n Sam weren't actually making plans to see each other yesterday. He invited me to this event he was a part of promoting via text. Short n quick. I texted back for details and never got a response. Called him my standard 48 hours later (you what I'm talkin bout ladies--countin the days till the call back lol) and he tells me he may be outta town. I'm thinkin perfect! I can go and not see him with the new girl and still do my review for the club (www.myspace.com/citybeautiful407 really ladies I been EVERYWHERE so if you follow the local reviews you won't have a bad night out.)
Anyways, with him it's like I can feel him. Now I haven't seen him since December although we talk on the phone sporadically (gotta love Clueless) and I got instant anxiety shoppin in the mall because I felt like he was gonna be there. I really did! And sure enough--I get in the club and the freak out begins because I knew he was there before I saw him. He proceeded to walk past me multiple times and not say hello, I texted him just to see if it was really him and got no response. Then I completely died when I saw him lol. Now my friends have no clue why I'm all over his shit but to me he was the most fliest fella in the club. He has beautiful eyes and a great smile and his body is amazing. His peen (courtesy of Necole Bitchie) is a work of art, ladies. I was back on this drug called Sam.
I finally get the guts to approach him since he's by his friend who's also my friend and I get a weak kiss on the cheek, fake hug, hands clasped infront of him, no eye contact and one word answers. I tried to strike up a conversation but I was starting to boil inside. I asked him why he was in town and he tried to tell me he said he had family in town. No sir--you told me flat out you were goin to NY on business and was mad you booked ur ticket at the last minute cause it cost you $5oo instead of $200. Liar. Finally I just mingled with our mutual friend catchin up while Sam turned his back to me and my girls to attend to his bottle of Moet. Dickwad.
I went through the many stages us women do at this point. I danced as sexy as I could in his eyeview, looked like I was having WAY too much fun, started flirting with every guy who gave me eye contact and eventually needed a bathroom break to recoup. I watched him roam around like he didn't see me, throwin back glasses of Mo, open up his muthsuckin shirt on stage and realized he likes to open up old wounds. In my song "Someday" I ask "How come I bruise but I don't heal?" Yeah that song is about him.
Standin outside the bathroom, he's standing right next to me two doors down. He looks at me and winks and gives me that little smile that melts my heart. I just shake my head and walk away. Lord knows I wanted to go over to him and dirty dance a little and smile but more of me wanted to punch him in that perfect mouth Charles Hamilton style.
In conclusion--just between us girls--you can't imagine how it feels to love someone who hurts you one day and says he loves you the next unless you've been through it. Now he's never hit me and I know he wouldn't ever--its more like magnets. I'm always ready to connect and he picks and chooses when he's ready. I have no control over anything. I hang on maybe because I know the man he can be--I seen him with other girls--or the fact that he's strangely a part of me. The mixed signals keep that fire going and against love I'm not strong enough to extinguish it. They say that “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”
Stay beautiful inside and out.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Boomerang Theory
I'm sitting in my aparment wearing my most recent ex's T shirt, trying to get in touch with my current babe (not the one from Boyfriend #2 lol) and talking to my first ex ever making plans to see him on Saturday(not SEE him just see him ladies--there's an event lol)
In the ex files mentioned, I came to learn that I was what Monica would call a "sideline h**" yet I still talk to these dudes almost two years later. My first ex ever--lets call him Sam-- actually was a weird one because he was a sideline but was in love with the girl. And I was the young fool who happened to meet him when they were on a break and just never could win his heart like she did. T shirt ex turned out to be a user and a coward with a girlfriend as serious as a heart attack while he stayed with me for weeks on end. Him and I had been on again and off again for a year and a half. Found out him and his girl had been together for around four years. Ouch. I know. Note to people with brains: Myspace is not your friend if you are trying to date more than one person at once. Twitter is definately not your friend either.
If you know me well, I call myself "The Repeat Offender." I never seem to date new guys just the same old heartbreakers. I guess I have this belief in The Boomerang Theory all twisted up. If you have never seen "Little Black Book" you should. Or maybe you shouldn't. It may keep you hanging on to love that should be let go. Duffy says "I know I'm wrong for hangin on..." Sometimes I feel the same way. The Boomerang Theory is you throw someone out into the world and if it's ment to be they will come back to you. How beautiful is that?
In conclusion--just between us girls--I am guilty of settling for second place with both of these men but I can't seem to stop the butterflies when I see their names on the caller ID or get sucked back in after months without communication when they think they need me again. And yes, there's two. I don't think I know who is my boomerang just yet because the signs are strangely parallel with both. Everytime T shirt ex disappears for a minute he comes back stronger than ever. Sam started out rough and mean but everytime we start talking again he is way more open and shows that he cares about me more and more.T shirt ex is fun and can play the "love game" and Sam was my first everything. He's definately man enough for me and can play the "love game" better than T shirt ex. But yeah, I'm seeing someone else now so I really shouldn't be talking about either of em.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
In the ex files mentioned, I came to learn that I was what Monica would call a "sideline h**" yet I still talk to these dudes almost two years later. My first ex ever--lets call him Sam-- actually was a weird one because he was a sideline but was in love with the girl. And I was the young fool who happened to meet him when they were on a break and just never could win his heart like she did. T shirt ex turned out to be a user and a coward with a girlfriend as serious as a heart attack while he stayed with me for weeks on end. Him and I had been on again and off again for a year and a half. Found out him and his girl had been together for around four years. Ouch. I know. Note to people with brains: Myspace is not your friend if you are trying to date more than one person at once. Twitter is definately not your friend either.
If you know me well, I call myself "The Repeat Offender." I never seem to date new guys just the same old heartbreakers. I guess I have this belief in The Boomerang Theory all twisted up. If you have never seen "Little Black Book" you should. Or maybe you shouldn't. It may keep you hanging on to love that should be let go. Duffy says "I know I'm wrong for hangin on..." Sometimes I feel the same way. The Boomerang Theory is you throw someone out into the world and if it's ment to be they will come back to you. How beautiful is that?
In conclusion--just between us girls--I am guilty of settling for second place with both of these men but I can't seem to stop the butterflies when I see their names on the caller ID or get sucked back in after months without communication when they think they need me again. And yes, there's two. I don't think I know who is my boomerang just yet because the signs are strangely parallel with both. Everytime T shirt ex disappears for a minute he comes back stronger than ever. Sam started out rough and mean but everytime we start talking again he is way more open and shows that he cares about me more and more.T shirt ex is fun and can play the "love game" and Sam was my first everything. He's definately man enough for me and can play the "love game" better than T shirt ex. But yeah, I'm seeing someone else now so I really shouldn't be talking about either of em.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Boyfriend #2
I never thought that I would understand why a woman would cheat. I mean I see gorgeous girls turn away gorgeous guys at the clubs all the time. When I'm with someone all I can think about is being with that person or seeing that person and all the boys in my phone seem to disappear. As long as we are getting love and affection from the man we love aren't we in it til the end?
When that Boyfriend #2 song by PleasureP came out I was dead set on the fact that if a woman has to cheat on her man she will eventually leave him. That there was no such thing as Boyfriend #2. That only MEN did dirty rotten things like that--until recently. I met this wonderful guy, so nice and sweet. He was funny, talented, ambitious and had a gorgeous dog. He cooked for me and said all the right things--you know what I mean ladies--the kinda guy that makes you say "awwww" after everything, the kinda guy that holds you just right so you melt right into him, the kinda guy who treats you like you hung the moon--I mean we just vibed. I thought I finally had a sigh of relief to let loose.
Then came time for the "love game" if you know what I mean. And he STRUCK OUT! Bless his heart he struck out. I literally was rolling my eyes--I know that's awful but I could not wait for the clock to run out on this one. Of course, I never let him feel like less than a man because I would never want anyone to make me feel like that but DAYUM. Now I'm not sure what to do. I love the way he makes me feel but he doesn't give me somethin I can feel...
In conclusion--just between us girls--I like his company but I'm a woman with needs. It's always the ones you find out have girlfriends or the ones you find out are slutty that seem to get the job done. Maybe it's because they have more practice? In this day of disease, (of course no woman should be without protection--carry condoms ladies) the idea of a Boyfriend #2 is kinda gross and I grew up a good girl waiting for marriage so I'm trained to be a one man woman but REALLY? What's a girl to do?
Stay beautiful inside and out!
When that Boyfriend #2 song by PleasureP came out I was dead set on the fact that if a woman has to cheat on her man she will eventually leave him. That there was no such thing as Boyfriend #2. That only MEN did dirty rotten things like that--until recently. I met this wonderful guy, so nice and sweet. He was funny, talented, ambitious and had a gorgeous dog. He cooked for me and said all the right things--you know what I mean ladies--the kinda guy that makes you say "awwww" after everything, the kinda guy that holds you just right so you melt right into him, the kinda guy who treats you like you hung the moon--I mean we just vibed. I thought I finally had a sigh of relief to let loose.
Then came time for the "love game" if you know what I mean. And he STRUCK OUT! Bless his heart he struck out. I literally was rolling my eyes--I know that's awful but I could not wait for the clock to run out on this one. Of course, I never let him feel like less than a man because I would never want anyone to make me feel like that but DAYUM. Now I'm not sure what to do. I love the way he makes me feel but he doesn't give me somethin I can feel...
In conclusion--just between us girls--I like his company but I'm a woman with needs. It's always the ones you find out have girlfriends or the ones you find out are slutty that seem to get the job done. Maybe it's because they have more practice? In this day of disease, (of course no woman should be without protection--carry condoms ladies) the idea of a Boyfriend #2 is kinda gross and I grew up a good girl waiting for marriage so I'm trained to be a one man woman but REALLY? What's a girl to do?
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Love is the only emotion
http://www.vladtv.com/blog/9/konvict-artist-dolla-shot--killed-at-beverly-center-mall-in-la/
Another reason to live life to the fullest. You never know when your time is up. I don't get involved with rap beefs because I personally think all that mess is petty. Growing up in South Central Los Angeles I never understood why people will hurt and even kill for gang loyalty--never understood why pride pushed people to kill. At this time, what happened to the young Konvict rapper Dolla isn't officially ruled as a rap beef but that's what the rumors are. Outside of why he died, the fact he died so young is heartbreaking to me. He was on a road to success. As I have been saying, I will never understand why people do what they do. Life is a gift and to take it from someone is disgusting.
In conclusion--just between us girls--I could give a rats ass what race you are, how much money you make, what you think of me, how you hurt me because I believe in karma. And I can think of all the people who have ever hurt me in my life and say that I truly have love for them. Forgiveness is the weirdest thing. But I do view people on how they treat other people. A Twitter friend sent this to me: "It is so sad, cuz people don't understand Love is the only Emotion. Anger, hurt, fear are reactions to Love abused or misused." I wish more people thought like that.
Stay beautiful inside and out.
Another reason to live life to the fullest. You never know when your time is up. I don't get involved with rap beefs because I personally think all that mess is petty. Growing up in South Central Los Angeles I never understood why people will hurt and even kill for gang loyalty--never understood why pride pushed people to kill. At this time, what happened to the young Konvict rapper Dolla isn't officially ruled as a rap beef but that's what the rumors are. Outside of why he died, the fact he died so young is heartbreaking to me. He was on a road to success. As I have been saying, I will never understand why people do what they do. Life is a gift and to take it from someone is disgusting.
In conclusion--just between us girls--I could give a rats ass what race you are, how much money you make, what you think of me, how you hurt me because I believe in karma. And I can think of all the people who have ever hurt me in my life and say that I truly have love for them. Forgiveness is the weirdest thing. But I do view people on how they treat other people. A Twitter friend sent this to me: "It is so sad, cuz people don't understand Love is the only Emotion. Anger, hurt, fear are reactions to Love abused or misused." I wish more people thought like that.
Stay beautiful inside and out.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Dishin' Dirt
Look, I know we don't take 5 from a night of dancing and drinking just to motivate each other. So the essence of this blog will remain consistant to a real life meeting in the ladies room. Just gimme some time to get my sources squared away and trust me ladies--i got you. Right now I'm at a very good place in my life brought on by a lot of reflecting so yeah I been a lil deep lately.
In conclusion--just between us girls--I know it's bad to talk about people. I know gossip is a horrible thing. And I know we all try hard not to get sucked into drama. But it's fun and everyone is allowed some sorta opinion whether it be religion, politics or pop culture. Pop culture is really where we all can have different opinions and still come together over a martini at the end of the day.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
In conclusion--just between us girls--I know it's bad to talk about people. I know gossip is a horrible thing. And I know we all try hard not to get sucked into drama. But it's fun and everyone is allowed some sorta opinion whether it be religion, politics or pop culture. Pop culture is really where we all can have different opinions and still come together over a martini at the end of the day.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
The Tipping Point
I got a wonderful book as a gift a while back and I have been reading it off and on for about a year. Not because I'm a slow reader but because reading isn't something I can multi task with. And when I get a second to sit down the last thing I feel like doing is reading a book. I mean I read of course--blogs, news, gossip sites--but not the old fashion way.
So as I have been going through these turning points in my life I have decided to take huge strides towards my dreams. Helen Hayes says "rest and you rust" and I believe that to be 100% true. I was stuck in a dead end job doing something I absolutely hate, dealing with lame "relationships," not really taking care of myself like I should and I was in the middle of really losing myself when I learned through tragedy that life is a journey and the end could be right around the corner. If I have to go suddendly I want to make sure that I'm doing all I can to be happy at every moment. I can't change or control everything but little things like starting my business DivaGlam Event Marketing & Promotions or this blog have given me a purpose and really have allowed me to break out creatively. And that's what gets me going.
I get frustrated often because it's taking a lot of work and eventually will take a lot of money to get everything where I want it be. I feel like I have this great idea and people who hear it love it but I can't seem to get the show on the road--I mean I can't get that explosion in response to take me to the next level. I keep The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell on my night stand and this morning it did what it does so often--it reminded me that one little thing can make a big difference. That one person can take my mini dream to a mega reality, that one extra blog might be the one to reach masses, that one tiny event can make my dream of working for myself a reality.
In conclusion--just between us girls--we gotta keep on keepin on. And what I mean by that is everyday you work towards your dreams is a day you pile hopes on that scale till one day out of nowhere you have reached your tipping point and those hopes turn to success. If any of you have ever branched out to follow your dreams then you know how scared and self doubting I am right now. I appreciate anyone who is supporting me at the start. The only reason I wont't quit is because I know I have something golden and God has given me a creative heart and working hands so the least I can do is see it through. Gladwell says "ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread like viruses do." I hope you all catch what I caught (c'mon ladies i was tryna stay mature in this one lol) and reach for the stars because even if you miss you're still amongst the clouds.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
So as I have been going through these turning points in my life I have decided to take huge strides towards my dreams. Helen Hayes says "rest and you rust" and I believe that to be 100% true. I was stuck in a dead end job doing something I absolutely hate, dealing with lame "relationships," not really taking care of myself like I should and I was in the middle of really losing myself when I learned through tragedy that life is a journey and the end could be right around the corner. If I have to go suddendly I want to make sure that I'm doing all I can to be happy at every moment. I can't change or control everything but little things like starting my business DivaGlam Event Marketing & Promotions or this blog have given me a purpose and really have allowed me to break out creatively. And that's what gets me going.
I get frustrated often because it's taking a lot of work and eventually will take a lot of money to get everything where I want it be. I feel like I have this great idea and people who hear it love it but I can't seem to get the show on the road--I mean I can't get that explosion in response to take me to the next level. I keep The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell on my night stand and this morning it did what it does so often--it reminded me that one little thing can make a big difference. That one person can take my mini dream to a mega reality, that one extra blog might be the one to reach masses, that one tiny event can make my dream of working for myself a reality.
In conclusion--just between us girls--we gotta keep on keepin on. And what I mean by that is everyday you work towards your dreams is a day you pile hopes on that scale till one day out of nowhere you have reached your tipping point and those hopes turn to success. If any of you have ever branched out to follow your dreams then you know how scared and self doubting I am right now. I appreciate anyone who is supporting me at the start. The only reason I wont't quit is because I know I have something golden and God has given me a creative heart and working hands so the least I can do is see it through. Gladwell says "ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread like viruses do." I hope you all catch what I caught (c'mon ladies i was tryna stay mature in this one lol) and reach for the stars because even if you miss you're still amongst the clouds.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Shaping up is hard to do
Being a woman I'm sure most of you understand the struggle with weight. If you're blessed to have a smaller frame and a fast metabolism then this blog isn't for you lol. Its for women like me who no matter how hard they try it's a constant battle with the bulge. I can say that I have committed myself to at least an hour in the gym doing cardio and weights and the efforts have been paying off but I want instant gratification and I think that's what demotivates me after a while. I eat right--fruits, veggies, non fat or low fat everything, no butter--but it's hard for me to keep my metabolism up because I tend to forget to eat. Eating every two to three hours is INSANELY hard. I was able to do that by bringing my food to work and just grazing all day but when you're out and about it's quicker to just grab fast food than carry a lunch box lol. While there are great food options at fast food places like grilled chicken sandwiches, side salads, fruit, and water its the bad stuff that'll throw me off track lol. In reality, there is no real reason to get off your diet even if you have to eat out. Again, eating right isn't an issue for me. I had a guy ask me if I have any food for fat people cause everything is veggies and non fat lol. And I dont drink anything but water, either. Well, that and alcohol lmao.
In conclusion--just between us girls--I guess I'm a little frustrated that I haven't found what will allow me to keep looking fabulous after all these years of working at it. I'm a constant up and down when it comes to weight and I'm sure I'm an emotional eater at times, too but now I'm serious about getting my Beyonce back. When I say my Beyonce I mean body. I'm a curvey woman in the real woman sense not the Hollywood she's a 6 not a 2 sense lol. And I'm proud of it. I have thighs, and hips, an ass and breasts---and I'm not tryna lose em. I want tighter arms and a flat stomach. So i'm putting it in writing. I gave myself three months to get my sexy back (not entirely back but on it's way--set realistic goals lol.) You all are witnesses. Check in on me--slap the burger from my hand on Memorial Day. RIP Erika Roman--you did it and so will I :)
Stay beautiful inside and out!
In conclusion--just between us girls--I guess I'm a little frustrated that I haven't found what will allow me to keep looking fabulous after all these years of working at it. I'm a constant up and down when it comes to weight and I'm sure I'm an emotional eater at times, too but now I'm serious about getting my Beyonce back. When I say my Beyonce I mean body. I'm a curvey woman in the real woman sense not the Hollywood she's a 6 not a 2 sense lol. And I'm proud of it. I have thighs, and hips, an ass and breasts---and I'm not tryna lose em. I want tighter arms and a flat stomach. So i'm putting it in writing. I gave myself three months to get my sexy back (not entirely back but on it's way--set realistic goals lol.) You all are witnesses. Check in on me--slap the burger from my hand on Memorial Day. RIP Erika Roman--you did it and so will I :)
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Naked pics: Worth the risk?
Recently there have been a bunch of scandals linked to celebs and naked or naughty pics. I had the pleasure of viewing the pics of Cassie Ventura, Rihanna, and some girl named Danger. I'm not saying that I enjoyed the pictures so pause. I am saying that I found myself amongst a social outcry on Twitter brought on by the wonderful and talented Amanda Diva herself. I have no problems with her. She's an amazing woman--talented, artistic, articulate--pretty much a chick I'd have as a friend but I could not believe that she felt that the leaked pictures of Cassie and Rhianna were in the same boat as that girl Danger (who by the way has no clue that nowadays we LANDSCAPE.)
From what I could tell the pictures of Cassie and Rihanna were for private use. Whether or not someone they trusted leaked them or they did it for attention--I'm not gonna judge. I'd rather give these women the benefit of the doubt and say they never intended those to leave the comforts of their cell phones or computers. Now I'm no celebrity but I can imagine that the constant scheduling of appearances and shows don't allow you the normal amount of time to spend with the one you love. And Soulja Boy just says "kiss me through the phone" but I already interpreted that to mean so much more lol. How can one NOT see that as an obvious way to "connect" while you're away from your special someone? Maybe I'm just a freak then because that's something that makes perfect sense to me. Long distances are best bridged by instant photos and videos lol. I mean, I'd rather my man have picture of me to keep him going than pick up some groupie or hooker. I'm just saying.
I guess, the point she was bringing up was self respect. That's a great point. But I think that self respect in this case is all relative. Like I said Paris was a slut over her tape and I was disgusted at Kim Kardashian but I felt for Vanessa Hudgeons and Adrian Bailon and Ri Ri. They are in longterm, committed relationships and just because they are celebrities doesn't mean they should have to live like animals under a microscope. That's where I see society has a fault. Fame comes with a loss of privacy but it doesn't mean these celebs don't have a right to privacy. I think we as a society tend to overlook that with our need to know more more more about them.
I don't think that in the proper context Rihanna can be judged negatively. So no, I don't think that she should have to think about how this affects her young fans, black women, or anyone else for that matter.
In conclusion--just between us girls--once it's done it's done. You may think at the moment that this is what you want but I always say regretting something you did is exponentially worse than regretting something you didn't do. Because you can't take it back once you do it or say it. You only spend your life cleaning up the mess or praying no one finds it. We're all guilty of being young and stupid at some point. The idea is to learn from it.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
From what I could tell the pictures of Cassie and Rihanna were for private use. Whether or not someone they trusted leaked them or they did it for attention--I'm not gonna judge. I'd rather give these women the benefit of the doubt and say they never intended those to leave the comforts of their cell phones or computers. Now I'm no celebrity but I can imagine that the constant scheduling of appearances and shows don't allow you the normal amount of time to spend with the one you love. And Soulja Boy just says "kiss me through the phone" but I already interpreted that to mean so much more lol. How can one NOT see that as an obvious way to "connect" while you're away from your special someone? Maybe I'm just a freak then because that's something that makes perfect sense to me. Long distances are best bridged by instant photos and videos lol. I mean, I'd rather my man have picture of me to keep him going than pick up some groupie or hooker. I'm just saying.
I guess, the point she was bringing up was self respect. That's a great point. But I think that self respect in this case is all relative. Like I said Paris was a slut over her tape and I was disgusted at Kim Kardashian but I felt for Vanessa Hudgeons and Adrian Bailon and Ri Ri. They are in longterm, committed relationships and just because they are celebrities doesn't mean they should have to live like animals under a microscope. That's where I see society has a fault. Fame comes with a loss of privacy but it doesn't mean these celebs don't have a right to privacy. I think we as a society tend to overlook that with our need to know more more more about them.
I don't think that in the proper context Rihanna can be judged negatively. So no, I don't think that she should have to think about how this affects her young fans, black women, or anyone else for that matter.
In conclusion--just between us girls--once it's done it's done. You may think at the moment that this is what you want but I always say regretting something you did is exponentially worse than regretting something you didn't do. Because you can't take it back once you do it or say it. You only spend your life cleaning up the mess or praying no one finds it. We're all guilty of being young and stupid at some point. The idea is to learn from it.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Where the MEN at?
My good friend DJ Skream posted on Twitter "being single is not the same as being independent" and he was right. But in my case I am both and it's been a blessing and a curse. All I know is the men--excuse me--fellas out here in Orlando really need to step their game up. I'm just saying. Just because I don't need anything financially from you doesn't mean that you get to leave the traditional male role mentality at my front door. I always dreamed of being a part of a power couple like Barack and Michelle, Brad and Angelina, or Jay and Beyonce. Now it seems like any guy I meet who sees that I have my own car, my own place, no kids, and my own money just wants a free ride.
Now I'm all about taking care of mine and nothing makes me happier than giving but I'm so over having to deal with the "Gimme Guys." Really? We been dating for how long now and you still haven't offered to take me out or cook for me and I have been doing that for you? Not cool. You know who you are. I also hate how guys expect to get some without putting in any effort. I mean can you at least PRETEND you want to get to know me? Then they act all mad when you keep the goodies in the jar. Whatever. I got this one dude who used to text me at bootycall hours all the time and he never ONCE asked me to do anything in the daytime. Never once. Since he doesn't have a car I just pretended I forgot one night and told him to drive on over. Haven't gotten a text since.
I understand what it is a woman is supposed to do in a relationship. I'm old fashioned like that. But you gotta enhance my life or get on the next flight cause I don't have time to deal with free loaders--lames--losers--SCRUBS (lmao I remember that song) because I'm on my Miss Independent movement.
There was a time when it was okay to be a female who just got by on her looks and linked up with a successful man but times have changed. It's all about women making it happen for themselves and being proud of it. I don't know if its just here in Orlando but that scale has tipped and now the guys seem to be gold digging. And I know it may seem shallow but you wouldn't say that if you knew what I went through lol. I think its fair to expect the guy I'm with to match my swag and then some.
In conclusion--just between us girls--I know we need love no matter how much we are expected to be Superwomen. But does that mean we have to settle and put up with fellas that aren't worth our time? Trust me, I will be the first to admit I have been guilty of it and I know some of you reading right now are looking over at your dude with that look in your eye lol. Fabulous says "a man is supposed to help you out with the groceries" in his song "Throw it in da Bag" and I believe that. A women should never do more for her dude than he is doing for her.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Now I'm all about taking care of mine and nothing makes me happier than giving but I'm so over having to deal with the "Gimme Guys." Really? We been dating for how long now and you still haven't offered to take me out or cook for me and I have been doing that for you? Not cool. You know who you are. I also hate how guys expect to get some without putting in any effort. I mean can you at least PRETEND you want to get to know me? Then they act all mad when you keep the goodies in the jar. Whatever. I got this one dude who used to text me at bootycall hours all the time and he never ONCE asked me to do anything in the daytime. Never once. Since he doesn't have a car I just pretended I forgot one night and told him to drive on over. Haven't gotten a text since.
I understand what it is a woman is supposed to do in a relationship. I'm old fashioned like that. But you gotta enhance my life or get on the next flight cause I don't have time to deal with free loaders--lames--losers--SCRUBS (lmao I remember that song) because I'm on my Miss Independent movement.
There was a time when it was okay to be a female who just got by on her looks and linked up with a successful man but times have changed. It's all about women making it happen for themselves and being proud of it. I don't know if its just here in Orlando but that scale has tipped and now the guys seem to be gold digging. And I know it may seem shallow but you wouldn't say that if you knew what I went through lol. I think its fair to expect the guy I'm with to match my swag and then some.
In conclusion--just between us girls--I know we need love no matter how much we are expected to be Superwomen. But does that mean we have to settle and put up with fellas that aren't worth our time? Trust me, I will be the first to admit I have been guilty of it and I know some of you reading right now are looking over at your dude with that look in your eye lol. Fabulous says "a man is supposed to help you out with the groceries" in his song "Throw it in da Bag" and I believe that. A women should never do more for her dude than he is doing for her.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Twitter is taking over my life!
Of all the things I could choose to blog about first--I chose Twitter. What is Twitter you may ask? If you don't know what Twitter is and you are between the ages of 18 and 34 you definately aren't as hip as you think you are. Its this simple online update thingy that Myspace and Facebook couldn't seem to make cool enough. So this guy decides to run with it. Basically you can tell anyone who thinks you're worth following (sorry for the jargon but it's your fault if you really need this explanation) what exactly you are doing, what you are planning to do, what you are thinking at the moment, what cool things people you are following are doing, and even show pictures and videos and bubbletweets--so much fun! It's friggin ADDICTING--and i'm not even a celebrity lol.
I follow my favorite celebs like the Kardashians and Swizz Beatz to pretty much just be all up in their business. That's it. I admit it--that's why I love Twitter. I mean it's a long hard road to getting a respectable amount of followers so it's worth having people up in your business but if you're a celeb--its nothing. So unfair. I have been on Twitter for almost a month (@DivaGlamFam if you wanted to know) and I'm barely pushing 100 followers. Hopefully that will change so I can get some responses to my questions (again, you wouldn't understand if you didn't have an account.)
Now on to what I HATE. Well it's a love/hate thing. I have UberTwitter on my Blackberry and it really is so convenient. I wasn't able to watch the Magic beat the Celtics tonight but I felt like I was there because I had constant updates from people I'm following. I can not only send my updates but I can retweet which is something I haven't figured out how to do on my laptop yet. I can see pictures instantly and I also get a highlighted list of tweets mentioning @DivaGlamFam (me people.) But I absolutely HATE the fact that everytime I get an update my phone is alerted. Its like they set it to default and update directly. Someone tell me how to make it stop! I can't even have my phone on anything but vibrate anymore and I am missing important calls and texts because I hate rushing to the phone and it's just Twitter letting me know that @djprostyle is on patron for the night.
If you don't have a Twitter account, you can't understand the importance of instantly reaching an audience. I can tell who knows how to use Twitter. The Kardashian sisters are a good example: always promoting themselves without seeming like they are. They invite people to come see them at events or tune in to see them on TV because they know their followers love them. And that love translates to dollars. Women after my own heart.
In closing--between us girls--get "Twit it!" The newer Twitter is, the easier it is to reach out to people. It's like Myspace and Facebook. It will get old and when that happens everyone will have a Twitter account. Your message will get lost in the shuffle. Promote your business or talent now while the iron is hot. Be bold and get ahead of the curve. Besides it's free and takes nothing but a picture and a headline. You may learn some interesting things about your favorite celeb or you may turn into a celeb. Stranger things have happened...
Stay beautiful inside and out!
I follow my favorite celebs like the Kardashians and Swizz Beatz to pretty much just be all up in their business. That's it. I admit it--that's why I love Twitter. I mean it's a long hard road to getting a respectable amount of followers so it's worth having people up in your business but if you're a celeb--its nothing. So unfair. I have been on Twitter for almost a month (@DivaGlamFam if you wanted to know) and I'm barely pushing 100 followers. Hopefully that will change so I can get some responses to my questions (again, you wouldn't understand if you didn't have an account.)
Now on to what I HATE. Well it's a love/hate thing. I have UberTwitter on my Blackberry and it really is so convenient. I wasn't able to watch the Magic beat the Celtics tonight but I felt like I was there because I had constant updates from people I'm following. I can not only send my updates but I can retweet which is something I haven't figured out how to do on my laptop yet. I can see pictures instantly and I also get a highlighted list of tweets mentioning @DivaGlamFam (me people.) But I absolutely HATE the fact that everytime I get an update my phone is alerted. Its like they set it to default and update directly. Someone tell me how to make it stop! I can't even have my phone on anything but vibrate anymore and I am missing important calls and texts because I hate rushing to the phone and it's just Twitter letting me know that @djprostyle is on patron for the night.
If you don't have a Twitter account, you can't understand the importance of instantly reaching an audience. I can tell who knows how to use Twitter. The Kardashian sisters are a good example: always promoting themselves without seeming like they are. They invite people to come see them at events or tune in to see them on TV because they know their followers love them. And that love translates to dollars. Women after my own heart.
In closing--between us girls--get "Twit it!" The newer Twitter is, the easier it is to reach out to people. It's like Myspace and Facebook. It will get old and when that happens everyone will have a Twitter account. Your message will get lost in the shuffle. Promote your business or talent now while the iron is hot. Be bold and get ahead of the curve. Besides it's free and takes nothing but a picture and a headline. You may learn some interesting things about your favorite celeb or you may turn into a celeb. Stranger things have happened...
Stay beautiful inside and out!
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