All The Single Ladies! Valentine's Doesn't Have to Suck

In exactly a week most of us single girls will probably be doing whatever it takes to get our minds off the fact that we're single. Hey, I'm not gonna lie--having never had a Valentine I secretly wish that I had someone to go out and spend a romantical day with and to be pampered by a sexy man EVERY year that this cursed day rolls around. But as fate has made me perpetually single I have decided to celebrate Valentine's Day as it best fits where I am now. Here are 10 things you can do to make sure Singles Awareness Day doesn't suck.

Treat Yourself: That should be a no brainer. We are single independent women and used to taking care of ourselves so for Valentines Day go the extra mile. Get a massage, a mani/pedi with a daring red or pink nail color, a facial, or buy yourself something sexy and do a photoshoot if you wanna make these guys wish they had you on Valentine's Day. Make yourself feel good to be yourself. Being happy with yourself is the best way to avoid the blues on Valentines Day.

Girl's Night Out: I'm sure if you're single you can find a single girlfriend (or four) for some serious girl time. Go see a movie downtown at The Plaza like"Valentine's Day" dressed to impress. Dinner must include some wine or martini's for some sophisticated single lady fun. I suggest hitting the Monkey Bar on Wall Street for a desert martini or (my favorite) an extra dirty martini with some great food. Urban Flats is perfect for a "wine down" after a movie as well.  

Meet a New Guy: Why not? You know you would rather be with a guy anyway. Gather the girls and go out to a ladies night for singles. Pick five traits for five diffferent guys. Have a goal of approaching guys. Make the list simple but the list should be fun. For example, the first guy you see wearing red you have to approach. Or a guy drinking a certain brand of beer. Anything will work. You're single now so meeting new people should be something you enjoy. And you never know--if he's out single on Valentine's Day he just might end up being your Valentine next year.

Throw a Party: If going out and seeing all the happy couples is not something you think you can handle--throw a party of your own. Pick a theme like "Love Bites" and have an all out war against relationships. Invite some of your closest and hottest girlfriends, add a Brown Bag party that features the best self pleasing options for Valentine's Day, attire is nothing but LBDs and share your relationship woes with a glass of wine and hor dovures. No flowers, no candy, no red--just sexy black dresses and sex toys ;)

Send Yourself Gifts: It's not as desperate as it sounds. Send yourself flowers or an Edible Arrangement with a self affirmation card for the note. Tell yourself how beautiful you are. Tell yourself how special you are. Tell yourself that you are one of the most important women you know. And when people ask you who it's from say its from someone who loves you just the way you are. Buy yourself a right hand ring--the ring that symbolizes that you're single and happy with that--and able to splurge on yourself. And what is Valentine's Day without chocolate? Indulge in all the goodies and candles and sexy lingerie. Make this day about loving yourself.

Love Your Loved Ones: Valentine's Day is about love. There is no reason to forget the special people in your life that love you every day no matter what. Your family and friends should hear just how much they mean to you on Valentine's Day. Buy cards and candies and treat them to the pampering you are so used to giving to yourself. If you have children take the time to enjoy making their Valentine's Day cards for school, take them Michaels and let them go crazy with the Valentine's Day crafts and glitter and heart shapes. Spend time with your siblings and your parents. Make Valentine's Day treats for your loved ones as well. Nothing is more fun than working from your creative side.

Donate Your Time: There are so may people that don't get love on a regular basis that would appreciate yours. And not only people--animals as well. You can volunteer downtown at the homeless shelter, pick a senior citizens home to spend a day passing out Valentine's Day cards and making new friends. The Humane Society in Sanford always needs volunteers. Spend the day caring for abandoned animals that need a little tlc. Karma is so important when it comes to sharing love. You have to give love to get it. Remain positive and don't wallow in the fact that you're single. Give your time to those that truly don't have anyone who cares. Do a favor for a friend in need or take out someone you know who recently had a rough time in love or maybe even health wise. The bottom line is show strangers a little love and feel better about your situation.

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Date Yourself: This will probably be what I'm doing for Valentine's Day. Gather all the chick flicks you love (I recommend Little Black Book starring the late Brittany Murphy) and a bottle of wine. If you can't be love drunk get a little tipsy and have a laugh. Spend time with yourself. Combine the "Treat Yourself" and "Gift Yourself" and then spend time alone at home. Write a poem, create a relationship plan, make a list of things about yourself that you love. The relationship plan sounds a little cheezy but it's not. Don't be afraid to know what you want in a relationship. Don't make the mistake of letting lonliness cause you to settle. Take the time to love yourself and then have the will power to give yourself what you really want.

Take a Trip: Maybe you need to get away from what you're used to. Especially if you went through a recent breakup. Getting out of the city and taking a quick trip to Daytona or Tampa might be what you need. Going out in a different city is a way to avoid reliving memories of past Valentine's Days with the ex. Bring a girlfriend along or go solo--either way the change of scenery should allow you to take a break from all the emotions that are bound to come pouring out. Maybe you want to spend the day missing him? Maybe you want to spend the day forgetting him? Only you know where your heart is at. As long as you focus on what's best for you.

Phone A Friend: All men aren't bad. If you have a male friend or someone you used to date and you are in the mood for romance--give him a call. Setting clear guidelines always helps if he is more into you than you are into him and vice versa. Sometimes still being able to flirt and enjoy the company of someone you care about is enough to make for a fun Valentine's Day--especially if it's a casual situation. The only thing is make sure you aren't setting yourself up for heartbreak. If this casual date with a guy you want more from don't get it twisted. And don't fool yourself into thinking he might feel the need to make you his girlfriend after that. Remember what I say--give him the green light but let him press the gas pedal.

In conclusion--just between us girls--the key is to make time for yourself. Love yourself. Celebrate all the non romantic love you may have in your life. And don't be afraid to pamper yourself. It's Valentine's Day! Much love ladies.

Happy "Hol O Days" 20 Holiday Events for Under $20

Tis the season my fellow Orlandoans (is that even what we call ourselves?) and I know you're pockets are gonna be tapped to the max. There is so much to do with Disney and Universal and Amway and Bob Carr for the holidays but I decided to go about finding 20 things to do this holiday season that will cost you $20 or less. I found about 50 so I just listed the ones in Orlando and surrounding areas. So grab the children and lock down the boo cause there is no excuse not to enjoy this holiday season with the ones you love.

Best of Florida Christmas (Through Jan 3) Holiday shows and displays, featuring ICE!, the walk-through ice sculpture. Daily at the Gaylord Palms. $13. Call 4075681600 for details.

Light Up UCF (Nov 20-Jan 8) Light show, rides, skating rink and 100 ft. ice slide at the UCF Arena. $10. Call 4078236006 for details.

Now Snowing (Nov 28-Dec 31) Snow machines, carolers and entertainment from 6pm to 9pm Sat-Thurs in Celebration. FREE. Call 4075661202 for details.

A Christmas Carol (Nov 27-Dec 20) Traditional telling of the classic story. Thurs-Sat 8pm and Sun 2:30pm at Theater Downtown. $18. Call 4078410083 for details

History Center Holiday (Dec 2) Mayor Richard Crotty lights the square at this festive celebration with music performances, Santa, crafts and more from 5:30pm-9pm Wed at the History Center. FREE. Call 4078368500 for details.

Need a Little Christmas (Dec 3-Dec 13) Cabaret of seasonal songs and characters at the Breakthrough Theater of Winter Park. $15. Call 4079204034 for details.

Holiday Showcase (Dec 13-Dec 19) A variety of acts from local choirs to the Windermere Ballet and Community Dance Theater perform selected works from the holiday. 6pm-9pm at the Rosen Shingle Creek Resort. FREE. Call 4079969770 for details.

The Gift Musical Production (Dec 4) Presentation featuring a variety of holiday music. 7:30pm to 9:30pm Friday at the Walt Disney Amphitheater in Lake Eola Park. FREE. Call 4072462827 for details.

Christmas Vespers (Dec 4-Dec 6) Annual festival of lessons and carols presented by the Rollins College Dept of Music. 6pm Fri-Sun at Tiedtke Concert Hall. $5. Call 4076461517 for details.

Its a Wonderful Life: Radio Play (Dec 4-Dec 13) Staged radio version of the Christmas tale 7:30pm Fri-Sat and 2pm Sun at the Osceola Center for the Arts. $20. Call 4078466257 for details.

Winter Wonderland (Dec 4) A student choreographed production from Dr. Phillips High School 7pm Fri at St Paul's Presbyterian Church. $10. Call  4072933696 for details.

Christmas in the Square (Dec 4) Live entertainment, tree lighting, and Santa in Downtown Sanford from 6pm-8pm Friday. FREE. Call 4076885120 for details.

Popcorn Flicks (Dec 4) White Christmas and How the Grinch Stole Christmas 7pm Fri at Central Park in Winter Park. FREE. Call 4076290054 for details.

Noche Latina en Ice! (Dec 4) Puerto Rican musicans play traditional Latin Christmas music while guests enjoy the Ice! exhibit and various Spanish treats. From 9:30pm911:30pm Friday at the Gaylord Plans. $20. Portion of proceeds go to charity, Ca// 4075861600 for details.

Festival of Trees (Dec 5-13) Weeklong holiday celebration with decorations and a tree trimming contest. From 10a4pm Sat-Sun at the Museum of the Apopkans. FREE. Call 4077031707 for details. 

Avalon Aglow (Dec 5) Santa leads the evening with hay rides, ice skating, live performances and fireworks. From 5pm-9pm in Avalon Park. FREE. 076586565 for details.

Light Up the Holidays (Dec 5) More than 200,000 colorful lights illuminate the park with live music and entertainment froom 5pm-9pm Saturday at Cranes Roost Park. FREE. Call 4075718180 for details.
Leadership Winter Park Pancake Breakfast (Dec 5) All-you-can-eat pancakes to warm you up before the parade, with proceeds benefiting local elementary schools. From 7am-10:30am Sat in Central Park. $5 Call 4076448281 for details.

Cracker Christmas Weekend (Dec 5-Dec 6) Old Florida-style holiday fair with arts, crafts, demonstrations and food. From 10am-4pm Sat-Sun in Fort Christmas. FREE. Call 4075684149 for details.

Holiday Movie Nights (Dec 7-Dec 21) Family classics shown in the park at 7pm Monday at Cranes Roost Park. FREE. Call 4075718863 for details.

Alive After Five: Cheers to the Holidays (Dec 10) Downtown street party featuring food and wine, art displays, and live performances. 5pm Thursday in Downtown Sanford. $7. Call 4073241577 for details.

Baldwin Park Festival of Lights (Dec 12) Carriage rides, holiday parade, and a holiday movie.  From 4:30pm-9pm Saturday at Baldwin Park Village Center. FREE. Call 4072063300 for details.
Holiday in the Park (Dec 11-Dec 20) The city opens an ice rink next to Lake Eola. 12pm to 10pm Friday, 10am to 10pm Saturday. $7. Call 4072462827
Snow Fest (Dec 19) The winter party involves ice skating and playing with real snow in the Florida sun. From 2pm-6pm Sat at RDV Sportsplex. $7 adults $13 for children. Call 4079162442 for details.

Manwhore Epidemic

Ladies, we have a problem. Well, I think its a problem anyway. We have men running wild out in society--sleeping with any girl that has a fat ass--and then retiring from "the game" and going in search of good "less experienced" women. Now that's not the only thing that I think is the problem. The main problem is these same men are the first to call a woman a hoe but then and then turn around and be a whore themselves. Can I please dig the term "manwhore" up from the grave? Cause we have have epidemic on our hands.

I don't know if I'm truly a feminist at heart but I think that there is a huge problem in society when it comes to sexual equality. Christina Aquilera said it best, "When you look back in history there's a common double standard in society. The guy gets all the glory the more he can score and the girl and do the same and yet you call her a whore." Now, I'm not saying lets screw our way to equality ladies. I'm saying our sexuality is not our own. As women, we still have to succumb to the standards of society. No matter how old fashioned and confining it is.

What I choose to do sexually I keep in between me and my partner. I'm not really out there like that and you'll notice in past posts that I refer to sex as the "love game." Truth be told "sex" was a bad word in my house growing up. We spelled it out--never said the word. For years I committed myself to abstinence until I was married. Then I decided that marriage is a lie and not what I was brought up to believe it was and chose to wait till I was in love. I was 23 years old when that happened (at least, I thought I was in love.) I have to admit I do feel a little self conscious about being that old because while I was practicing my abstinence I was never educating myself on anything sexually. I mean disease and pregnancy were both things I didn't want and my education ended there. But I never allowed myself to feel out of control with what I chose to do with my body. Whether I was being abstinent or picking a partner I always felt in control of my sexuality. I have been educating myself and learning that its okay to talk about sex, to admit that you want to have sex, and to admit that you are having sex. Dialogue keeps everyone healthy and safe.

Every time I turn on the radio I hear people talking about sex. Rappers talking about "hoes" and how they treat them. Singers admitting that all they wanna do is sleep with the beautiful young ladies they meet in the club. Its out there in the open. What I don't get is how a rapper who sleeps with a zillion women can get away with calling anyone a hoe. And from rapper to the average Joe Schmoe to have the audacity to get his freak on with every chick he sees and then say that they won't wife a chick with "too many miles" on her would be laughable if it wasn't so disgusting. I was watching that movie "Maid of Honor" you know the one with McDreamy in it? Now THAT guy was a manwhore. Imagine if the role had been reversed. See? Not as much of a romantic comedy! Manwhores run around town like fleas jumpin from one girl to another, always with the same lines, same outcome. Especially when a girl ends up sleeping with them on the first night--all kinds of disrespect ensues. I always think "didn't you sleep with her the first night you met her? What makes your decision to sleep with her less skeezy? The fact that you're a dude?" I don't buy it and neither should you.

In conclusion--just between us girls--Its like we're living in this world of chasity where it's just best to pretend that you aren't having sex at all if you're a female. Cause there is a difference between a hoe and a sexually active female...but putting it into writing it still sounds skeezy for both types of girls. I'll admit, I'm hit with that old world disdain for sexually uninhibited females. I grew up in church--a very strict one--and thought having sex without being married was the ultimate devaluing act of a female for 23 years. My main concern is that we as women own our sexuality. Don't let men who can't even count the number of females they have been with--less more remember their names--put a value on who you are as a woman. Because I'm out so much I see the dudes that scam on girls, then get on twitter tryna sweet talk girls, then in the same breath talk about hoes like they aren't one themselves. I think its time that we as women call them out and treat them as such. Once we realize the power that we have because of our sexuality we can run the world. Nations have fallen because of women. I may not have the same values as other women but I respect every woman's sexual choice from virgin to prostitute because I don't have the right to judge anyone on how they choose to live. But where do we draw the line between cheapening ourselves and owning up to the fact that we are sexual beings as well? That, my friend, you'll decide on your own based on your morals or religion.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Vegetarian Mindset: No Beef

Yes, my friends--another Twitter related blog. If you need an update on what Twitter is read my first blog post ever. And then crawl out from under that rock.

I have had the chance to do some great networking because of Twitter and I have been able to give the people that sorta/kinda knew me a better insight into who I am--an insomniac who thinks deeply, inspires easily, and trips and falls frequently. (No really. I can't walk without tripping.) And in turn, I have also had the chance to get to know people I never really knew that well. And I love that. I love making new friends. I love people. Don't know where that came from but I genuinely love people in general. Maybe its the idea that we really all are one and our differences are only barriers in our own minds.

This is getting deeper than I planned.

The point is I realized this morning that I don't have any beef with any female. Not one girl I know is a girl that I hate. I don't know about the other way around but I'm pretty confident no girl has beef with me. Being on Twitter has allowed me to see that girls are catty. I go out with my girls and I say "Hey, that's my friend from Twitter" and I get told "Oh, I hate that girl. She's fake/she's a hoe/she's a bitch" and my loyalty to my friend is silently questioned. Of course I'm not gonna go up to the girl and talk to her after that. But in my mind I'm like: "She's a friend to me till she does something to me personally." Or till she does something to one of my friends that's not related to a guy.

In conclusion--between us girls--why is that we as women always let a man come between us? I arrived home from the club last night to two police cars at my friends complex where the cop described it as "ten girls fighting over one guy." Heard homie has a regular girl but has another on the side who stays with him a week per month and pays his bills while she's in town. Not to mention him tryna sweet talk my girls all the time--even me. And apparently some girls he's messed with were out at the club and started beef with my girls. I say that's karma for his ass but why didn't any of those women realize that HE was the issue and not the other girls? I'll never understand that. If you find yourself at constant odds with another female over a man shouldn't you take a look at the situation a little more closely? I'm just saying--men are rarely worth the drama. Get the "vegetarian mindset" with me ladies.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

I <3 Basketball

Last night's game was phenomenal. I mean, this whole series as a Magic fan has caused me multiple mild heart attacks but last nights game was proof that the Orlando Magic has a chance to take it home. I'm gonna believe until the end so I'm going to put it in writing: The Orlando Magic will make a believer out of you.

If I can remember correctly we had two history making moments. First, we had the highest field goal percentage in a first half of a final at 75% and this is the first finals game the Orlando Magic has ever won. I'm proud to be from Orlando even though I was born in LA and my heart longs to be there one day with my mom and brother. I can't deny that Kobe is an amazing player but "he's a SUCKY person!" (thanks Lauren Conrad--I can't say that enough lol.) Not only did we make history we had a darling little autistic girl sing one of the hardest songs on national TV and the Orlando Magic gave voice to a mute child. The Magic is into making miracles.

All that aside, the reason I have fallen in love with the Orlando Magic is the players. We have some major man candy on the team and if you had the pleasure of viewing the finals games with me downtown at the Plaza Theater, then you know that what I really came to see. It's hard to pretend that I'm not secretly wondering what it would be like to play the love game with an NBA star when they're sweating and running and jumping and their arm and back muscles are flexing and their calves are...well let me stop before I get in trouble.

I have had the pleasure of meeting some of the players while I've been out on town but since I refuse to be a groupie I always act like its no big deal. Last night Jameer Nelson was standing right in front of me as I waited for my friend outside Dragon Room and I acted like I had no clue who he was lol. I wanted to congratulate him on the game but didn't know if people knew he was there and didn't want to be the one to start anything. I got rejected by JC Chasez once for that reason and I never forgot how his buddy explained to me why he kept shaking his head and walking away when I was yelling "JC! JC!" Haha. That was a weird night...ANYWHOOOOO--back to the point: We have some hotties on our team. And some DEFINITE not-so-hotties but I'm all about love for the home team today.

Out of respect for the fact that these people may have girls or wives I'll just list who I like and why I like him and that will be the end of it.

#3. Dwight Howard: He's so funny! I have a dumb sense of humor and I'm sure that we'd be cracking up for hours over nothing. I love that he smiles all the time, too. It lets me know that he still thinks what he does is fun.
#2. Rashard Lewis: I love his quiet intensity. I've seen him out and he's just low key. Scopes the crowd, keeps to himself, and really not into all the scene stuff. But you know the boy is bad when he steps on the court.
#1. Courtney Lee: Behind that mask is the sweetest face ever. He has this innocence about him outside the game but he's aggressive on the court and that makes me feel like he's a confident man. If I had to choose a player to get to know, it would be him. I'd like to know what makes him laugh.

In closing--just between us girls--I'm not trivializing all the great things we did last night. I'm keeping it real on what keeps me hooked to these games. I never watched basketball on TV before this although I loved going to the games. When I was at the games, I spent a lot of time talking and joking around and all I cared about was the outcome. Now I'm hooked for the entire 48 mins. That's the power of a fine ass man!

Stay beautiful inside and out!