Ugh! This hurts me to my heart! But ugh *clutches chest* I can't believe that this is truly what the love between two of my most favorite artists has become. I just had to speak on it. To quote Swizz I am "gossiping about things [I] know nothing about" but I decided to do it since it's a perfect triangle that relates to us women. I had a great conversation about it via a friend on Twitter who has the complete opposite opinion as I do. And thus I was motivated to write this blog.
As a Twitter freakazoid I actually responded to Alicia Keys tweet: “Having a heated debate n the studio. Question is…N love is it better to go 4 the choice that is ‘SMART’ or the choice that has ‘SPARK’??” I responded something along the lines "I'm looking for SMART but still miss my SPARK" and I'm sure there was a emoticon somewhere in that tweet as well. If you follow my blog you know that I have a constant thing for my very first love that I can't seem to shake. But it just never seems to work with us. Well, that little tweet from Keys ignited a plethora of feelings for Mashonda, Swizz Beatz's wife. (Read the letter here http://www.rap-up.com/2009/09/26/mashondas-open-letter-to-alicia-keys/ )
If you've been living under a rock, you may not know that my favorite celebrity Swizz Beatz and my favorite singer Alicia Keys have been keeping their relationship under wraps for about two years. As Swizz seeks divorce Mashonda stated from the jump that she had no idea her marriage was in trouble and that Keys had been the cause of the demise of her marriage. When I first caught wind of the drama I was happy for Swizz. I mean Alicia Keys is beautiful, talented, a strong, creative woman. I think men should be paired with women who mirror their intangible traits. That makes for stronger bonds and better understanding. I wanted Swizz to be happy and since apparently Keys isn't a lesbian I thought she was the perfect fit for a talented and artisitc indivual as Swizz. I remembered saying that Mashonda wasn't handling her wifely duties and must have been preoccupied to not know the marriage was in trouble. I put the blame on her. I even laughed when Swizz commented that it wasn't a big deal "people get divorced every fuckin day." That was before I got Mashonda's story.
Now I'm deflated and disappointed at both Swizz and Alicia. I truly had no idea that Mashonda had just had a child and I did not know that she wanted to try and hold on to her husband and her marriage. I never really thought about what it means to take vows and to have them challenged. Aren't you supposed to try and work it out? I think she has every right to be bitter. I think she has every right to lash out. Do I think it's appropriate to do it on Twitter? Maybe not but I'm glad she had the guts to say "You stole my husband but because I'm the mother of his child we have to come to some understanding."
In conclusion-just between us girls-when do we let the guilty take the blame? I'd be a hypocrite if I let Swizz off the hook in this whole thing. One thing I always say is married men are a complete turn off for me. I try and respect my fellow female by not approaching what is clearly out of reach. What makes another woman disregard that wedding ring I will never know. It's not like she just slept with him either. She stole him. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad to think about. Alicia Keys saw what she wanted and went after it. My heart wants to believe she tried to say no but the "sparks" were just to much to overcome. Now I don't believe for one second that Mashonda should be to blame for this whole thing. We can rationalize why Swizz cheated but we can't pretend that marriage is all sunshine and rainbows. When you get married you're supposed to work through problems, keep your eye on your spouse, focus on keeping that bond that wanted to you promise your life to another in the first place. Celebrities are human and that's so clear from this situation. We can learn from them, relate to them, and hopefully avoid making the same mistakes. Ladies, let's be true to ourselves, each other, and then the men. Because like I say-we let men get away with so much.
Stay beautiful inside and out!
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