"If you're thinkin about my baby, it don't matter if you're black or white." NOW it doesn't matter but BACK THEN--Mama told me "Try to only date men the same color as you or lighter." I know she's not a racist because she's Irish/Jamaican and her childrens' father was as black as night and she tends to date men of that skin tone. I guess the fact that she has ivory skin makes for "better" complexion---anywhoo the point is this: I was concious of the idea of color defining beauty at a young age. I never had a problem with the color of my skin--its right in the middle so I'm not light skinned enough to get the first glance but i'm not dark enough to get the last glance. I know that sounds harsh but that's just the way things are. They are changing every day but to quote Gwen Stefani and Andre 3000--"we got a long way to go."
I never have a problem seeing white women with black men. Secretly I wonder why a black woman wasn't good enough for him but love is love (or more accurately--lust is lust lol.) This might sound crazy but I was only attracted to white guys growing up and through out high school. There were some Spanish dudes in the mix but it was mostly white guys. Was I a sell out? No. It wasn't intentional, I was around a lot more white guys than I was black at the time. In college, I finally discovered my true attraction for a man is his smile, personality and model-like attractiveness lol. I became a sucker for beautiful bone structures and blindingly white smiles and that led me into a love for men of all skin tones. Lately, I find myself attracted to African, Haitain, Jamaican, mixed and Latino men. It's like white guys don't do it for me anymore. Its funny that I used to be ashamed of liking guys outside my race. I would have never confessed that I liked white guys five years ago. I guess I'm growning into accepting who I am and what I like.
Maturity has given me a wider scope for beauty. Its not that I no longer like white guys its that I have added men of all shades to the list. Usually, if the personality sucks I can't follow through with the deal. Its not a crime to look, though. I enjoy man candy. When I see a couple that's white guy and black girl and its not a white guy that's hood--I feel a little like progress is being made in the world. For a white man to look at a black woman and see beauty is a huge thing. It's not the same as a white woman liking a black man because black men have everything a white man has (and then some ) physically. Black women tend to be the opposite of what history has deemed beautiful. And its not the same as when a black guy dates a white girl--it just isn't. I never understand how some black guys are so handsome and they date the ugliest white girls. If you're a black woman you know what I'm talking about. I'm a big, beautiful black woman and I can't turn the head of a black man who's dating a white woman my size (0ften bigger) for nothing lol. She doesn't even have to dress right, either. It's annoyingly frustrating.
In conclusion--just between us girls--interracial dating is about the shift in the idea of beauty, isn't it? For a long time dark was bad and light was good. Dark-skinned people still get overlooked to me, though. The color line is blurring, yes but I see beauty in people no matter what their shade is and there are people who still say "I prefer this over that." I highly doubt those who "prefer" ever keep their minds open to other options. I have a friend who makes fun of me for liking "those foreign guys" meaning the non "regular" blacks like Africans and Haitians. I take it all in love but it does get me thinking about my generation. Now, there are more mixed kids out there in the world so it's easy for kids to accept people of different races as far as mating goes (yeah I said mating lol) so I'm not worried about the future. It's the now that scares me. Race is a hard thing to discuss because it affects everyone and the conflict comes when people assume that it doesn't. I grew up in a color blind world (three white sisters, three Mexican foster sisters, a light skinned sister, a dark skinned one, a Philipino step dad and a pure Jamaican ado mom with Irish features of pale skin, green eyes and red hair, my "family" I spend all my time with now is German lol) so I feel a little wreckless in talking about color since I know and have loved people from all races as family. People are beautiful regardless what there skin looks like. And when people my age start to see beyond the physical--beyond what they have programmed themselves to believe--more people will get laid. Had to end on a lighter note lol.
"I'm not gonna spend my life being a color."
Stay beautiful inside and out!
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