Keepin it on the HUSH

I feel like this is my diary all of a sudden. My therapy. Cause I know I can't be the only one going through the drama I am going through. Normally I have more life altering drama like paying bills, family, and health--those things I can deal with like a super hero. But MEN are my kryptonite. I have only been dating for a year and a half and I have had nothing but issues. Maybe it's me but for this blog's sake we can't even consider that lol.

Let me tell you what this blog is about: T-shirt ex. You have to read back to The Boomerang Theory to get the details on this so go ahead and do it now....I'll wait...ok...you good? Good. So T-shirt ex has a girlfriend and I had been on and off with him for about a year and a half. We never called it dating and I always clarified when the question came up that we weren't dating. But we were doing everything but calling it dating--and I mean everything.

We stopped "not dating" when I found out he had a girlfriend through Myspace. Believe me, God looks out for me because it came at a time when I was really starting to fall for him and her picture just shined through from all the top 89 people. She had a cute short 'do like Rihanna and I wanted see more pics. Now her page is private so I couldn't see everything. But if you have one of those new layouts sometimes people can see everything but your blogs and pictures. That's how her page was. Now she was updating status's about being in love, her friends were commenting on how happy they were for her relationship and all that jazz and my babe was the only person in her top. Not the only guy in her top. The only person. Meaning homegirl had a TOP 1 and he was it. She also listed him as her most favorite artist--in that "last but not least" kinda deal. Barf city.

I called him out on it and he refused to own up to it, got all defensive and said some hurtful ish. I figured we could still move on as friends since he was my dude and told him the love games would be over. He'll call and try to act like it never happended with the usual banter and I'll play back to it but in my mind he's the worse kind of liar. That girl looks so sweet and genuinely seems to love him. I remember writing him "why risk someone you love for someone that doesn't love you?" Cheating is an awful thing. I will admit that homegirl was gorgeous about a zillion times smaller than me and she seems so sweet. So the only thing I concluded is he's using me for all I got and she must not have ish.

That was a little over a month ago. I never said anything to her. I didn't want to burst her lovely bubble. But recently I stumbled upon his twitter profile and just stumbled across hers and I been thinking about blowing his spot up so bad. I mean if she ONLY KNEW how him and I were. I really think she'd Charles Hamilton his ass. He's out there doing his thing tryna be a celebrity, enjoying life with a girl who loves him for who she thinks he is when in reality he's a lying opportunist.

In conclusion--just between us girls--what should I do? If you were her what would you want me to do? I don't want to do anything out of jealously and I don't need anymore drama. I did the right thing and cut things off but we still check in every now and then. Keeping secrets is easy but dealing with the secret is hard.

Stay beautiful inside and out.