Guys Are Being Taught To Avoid YOU

I'm one to celebrate being single. And I'm one to admit I'd rather not be single. I want a certain connection and haven't found it yet and until then I really don't put any effort into looking for it. It's a simple friendship. I know I will fall in love with someone who is a friend first. That comes from my inability to let my guard down with just anyone. I think a lot of women are like me--they just want men they can trust. In today's society it's hard to assume the best about a guy (especially if he's good looking, successful, and single.)

I've been doing a lot of research to help my reader's get out of this single-dom. I know beautiful, successful, indepent women who just can't find love (me included but I know what my problem is--most of my readers don't know theirs.) It's appalling that some of us are not being approached by men for genuine long term relationships. You would think a guy would want all of those qualities in a woman. But pouring through many men's articles looking for what men want in women I unconvered some disturbing trends in advice for men about dating. They are being told what to AVOID more than they are being told what to look for. And after I got over my anger at how sexist these articles were I took the chance to notice there were valid points. I realized that even though I say I want a serious relationship I am giving off the "DON'T DATE ME/YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME HAPPY" vibe. No bueno.

 Here are the 10 most common women men are being told to avoid. Try and learn something after you calm down.

1. Feminists: Guys are being taught that these are the kind of women who blame men for everything. That feminists believe that the world would be a better place if men would allow women to be the stronger gender that they are destined to be. Men are being told that feminists treat men like shit with the understanding that men deserve it for years of oppression and will without guilt try and take their manhood. One article said she says things like "Men only think with their penises."

2. Desperate Chicks: This woman is on a countdown. She has set her mind to have kids and be married by a certain time and she doesn't care who with. Men are being taught that she is the kind of woman who wants to "trap" a man she barely knows into marrying simply because she doesn't want to be the last of her friends to do so. This woman also falls into the trap of "Instant Relationship" where a few dates or a sexual encounter has her mind racing with questions like "Why isn't he calling?" or not making plans for the weekend hoping he'll call to do something. She says she "misses" him after a few weeks of talking.

3. Gold Diggers:  This one is pretty obvious but guys are being instructed to avoid a girl who is "take take take take take." This is the kind of woman who feels that a man is supposed to pay for her drinks, dinner, flowers, luxuries, and life style. They are being told that she will use her sexuality and even sponge older guys for money--sometimes without making any commitment to one guy. She cares only for material things and will never want a lasting relationship with someone who can't afford to pay her. One article called her a "prostitute in disguise" and another say's that she's "almost repulsed by the idea that she should return any of the favors."

4. Hopeless Romantics: Seems like men think women who are overly romantic live in a fantasy world. That a hopeless romantic will expect the impossible and will never be happy because her ideal relationship cannot exist. The hopeless romatic has always considered herself a princess and wants to be catered to. If she doesn't get treated like royalty they say she becomes a "screaming nag."

5. Insecure Woman: The woman who is insecure starts out really sweet and loving, guys say. But then as the relationship goes on the insecurity causes her to be super jealous, needy, and emotional. An insecure woman needs to be constantly reminded that she is loved and that she needs to be treated like glass because she is so fragile. Men are being taught to avoid an insecure woman because she becomes full of drama, always calling her man's phone when they're apart, and looking for reasons to feed her paranoia. They call her "needy little girl" and one article had a picture of a doll covered in cotton to depict this kind of woman.

6. The Bitch: They call her "man hater" or "like a feminist--but worse." Guys are being asked to avoid being with a bitch because frankly she doesn't know how to treat people. She cares nothing of anyone else's feelings and she hates men. She thinks that they are stupid and treats them as such. The bitch is the kind of woman who has the competitiveness of a man with the sensitivity of a woman to avoid being hurt. Men are being let in on the fact that she is a good "challenge" but not someone to marry because of her attitude. She's usually really guarded and once she does open up she tends to fall into the "instant relationship" category, too. She switches from being super seductive to emotionally distant in moments making it hard to get close to her.

7. The Yapper: Good conversation is key to a guy but too much talking is annoying. Men avoid women who just talk to hear themselves talk. They never find the time to let anyone get a word in edgewise. Usually a woman who talks too much is very opinionated and not a good listener. Usually the yapper is full of gossip and other useless things as well. Someone who talks too much is seen as someone who is unable and unwilling to learn and men are being told to avoid women like this for sanity purposes.

8. The Career Woman: I didn't see this one too often but the fact that I saw it at all was startling. Apparently it's not that men are afraid of successful women but they have this fear that a career woman doesn't need them. And not even that. Guys are being told that the career woman thinks she doesn't need him. And if a woman doesn't need him why should a man be around her? A career woman has an indepence that is almost arrogant and that's seen as a huge turn off. Men like to know that a confident woman depends on him and a woman who is taking care of everything herself tends depend on no one but herself.

9. The Controlling Lady: If a woman has to have a say in what her man wears, where he goes, who he hangs out with, and what he eats she is the main woman men are being told to avoid. She always has an opinion about what her man should be doing and tends to be the one who puts down her man. Controlling women also can be subtle in her ways by refusing sex, nagging, crying, and even throwing tantrums. All articles list her as someone who is a bitchy and uses the loyatly and love of a nice guy to her advantage.

10. Elusive Chick: Men are being told that women who send mixed messages are going to be nothing but utter frustration. She plays with emotions and she may date and flirt but she never becomes exclusive with her man. They say that she "subconciously sabatages" or avoids relationships. She's been hurt in the past and carries it with her and she never will quite get to where she can fully open up again. One article went as far as to say she makes excuses to why she can't spend time and will never get a man who's interested out of "friend status." It says that she deceives herself into thinking she doesn't have time for relationships.

In conclusion--just between us girls--those were just 10 of the most common listed. I saw references to party girls and serial flirts as well. They key thing to take from all this is what we might see as positive traits men might assume the worst. A man should expect to put some effort into getting to know a woman if he has pure intentions. From what I read it sounds like men hold women who have been hurt before in a bad light. I don't think a woman can control who hurts her. Men should be more sensitive to the fact that women want to be in love and have had their hearts broken and are going to be guarded. Also men should take an active role in understanding that women are emotional. And yes, if a connection is made or she finds she's interested in a man he shouldn't be creeped out. If he's not interested in going beyond what's already there he should make that clear. If he needs time to understand how he feels about a woman who has fallen for him he needs to make that clear too.

Love is a battlefield and there are going to be wounds that need treating and time for healing, ladies. But lets not have those scars scare away our happiness. Are you guilty of any of the above? Do you have those tendancies? It's time to take some of the blame for why we are single if we really don't want to be. That's the only way we'll be able to change and get what we need. A long lasting and loving relationship.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

All The Single Ladies! Valentine's Doesn't Have to Suck

In exactly a week most of us single girls will probably be doing whatever it takes to get our minds off the fact that we're single. Hey, I'm not gonna lie--having never had a Valentine I secretly wish that I had someone to go out and spend a romantical day with and to be pampered by a sexy man EVERY year that this cursed day rolls around. But as fate has made me perpetually single I have decided to celebrate Valentine's Day as it best fits where I am now. Here are 10 things you can do to make sure Singles Awareness Day doesn't suck.

Treat Yourself: That should be a no brainer. We are single independent women and used to taking care of ourselves so for Valentines Day go the extra mile. Get a massage, a mani/pedi with a daring red or pink nail color, a facial, or buy yourself something sexy and do a photoshoot if you wanna make these guys wish they had you on Valentine's Day. Make yourself feel good to be yourself. Being happy with yourself is the best way to avoid the blues on Valentines Day.

Girl's Night Out: I'm sure if you're single you can find a single girlfriend (or four) for some serious girl time. Go see a movie downtown at The Plaza like"Valentine's Day" dressed to impress. Dinner must include some wine or martini's for some sophisticated single lady fun. I suggest hitting the Monkey Bar on Wall Street for a desert martini or (my favorite) an extra dirty martini with some great food. Urban Flats is perfect for a "wine down" after a movie as well.  

Meet a New Guy: Why not? You know you would rather be with a guy anyway. Gather the girls and go out to a ladies night for singles. Pick five traits for five diffferent guys. Have a goal of approaching guys. Make the list simple but the list should be fun. For example, the first guy you see wearing red you have to approach. Or a guy drinking a certain brand of beer. Anything will work. You're single now so meeting new people should be something you enjoy. And you never know--if he's out single on Valentine's Day he just might end up being your Valentine next year.

Throw a Party: If going out and seeing all the happy couples is not something you think you can handle--throw a party of your own. Pick a theme like "Love Bites" and have an all out war against relationships. Invite some of your closest and hottest girlfriends, add a Brown Bag party that features the best self pleasing options for Valentine's Day, attire is nothing but LBDs and share your relationship woes with a glass of wine and hor dovures. No flowers, no candy, no red--just sexy black dresses and sex toys ;)

Send Yourself Gifts: It's not as desperate as it sounds. Send yourself flowers or an Edible Arrangement with a self affirmation card for the note. Tell yourself how beautiful you are. Tell yourself how special you are. Tell yourself that you are one of the most important women you know. And when people ask you who it's from say its from someone who loves you just the way you are. Buy yourself a right hand ring--the ring that symbolizes that you're single and happy with that--and able to splurge on yourself. And what is Valentine's Day without chocolate? Indulge in all the goodies and candles and sexy lingerie. Make this day about loving yourself.

Love Your Loved Ones: Valentine's Day is about love. There is no reason to forget the special people in your life that love you every day no matter what. Your family and friends should hear just how much they mean to you on Valentine's Day. Buy cards and candies and treat them to the pampering you are so used to giving to yourself. If you have children take the time to enjoy making their Valentine's Day cards for school, take them Michaels and let them go crazy with the Valentine's Day crafts and glitter and heart shapes. Spend time with your siblings and your parents. Make Valentine's Day treats for your loved ones as well. Nothing is more fun than working from your creative side.

Donate Your Time: There are so may people that don't get love on a regular basis that would appreciate yours. And not only people--animals as well. You can volunteer downtown at the homeless shelter, pick a senior citizens home to spend a day passing out Valentine's Day cards and making new friends. The Humane Society in Sanford always needs volunteers. Spend the day caring for abandoned animals that need a little tlc. Karma is so important when it comes to sharing love. You have to give love to get it. Remain positive and don't wallow in the fact that you're single. Give your time to those that truly don't have anyone who cares. Do a favor for a friend in need or take out someone you know who recently had a rough time in love or maybe even health wise. The bottom line is show strangers a little love and feel better about your situation.

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Date Yourself: This will probably be what I'm doing for Valentine's Day. Gather all the chick flicks you love (I recommend Little Black Book starring the late Brittany Murphy) and a bottle of wine. If you can't be love drunk get a little tipsy and have a laugh. Spend time with yourself. Combine the "Treat Yourself" and "Gift Yourself" and then spend time alone at home. Write a poem, create a relationship plan, make a list of things about yourself that you love. The relationship plan sounds a little cheezy but it's not. Don't be afraid to know what you want in a relationship. Don't make the mistake of letting lonliness cause you to settle. Take the time to love yourself and then have the will power to give yourself what you really want.

Take a Trip: Maybe you need to get away from what you're used to. Especially if you went through a recent breakup. Getting out of the city and taking a quick trip to Daytona or Tampa might be what you need. Going out in a different city is a way to avoid reliving memories of past Valentine's Days with the ex. Bring a girlfriend along or go solo--either way the change of scenery should allow you to take a break from all the emotions that are bound to come pouring out. Maybe you want to spend the day missing him? Maybe you want to spend the day forgetting him? Only you know where your heart is at. As long as you focus on what's best for you.

Phone A Friend: All men aren't bad. If you have a male friend or someone you used to date and you are in the mood for romance--give him a call. Setting clear guidelines always helps if he is more into you than you are into him and vice versa. Sometimes still being able to flirt and enjoy the company of someone you care about is enough to make for a fun Valentine's Day--especially if it's a casual situation. The only thing is make sure you aren't setting yourself up for heartbreak. If this casual date with a guy you want more from don't get it twisted. And don't fool yourself into thinking he might feel the need to make you his girlfriend after that. Remember what I say--give him the green light but let him press the gas pedal.

In conclusion--just between us girls--the key is to make time for yourself. Love yourself. Celebrate all the non romantic love you may have in your life. And don't be afraid to pamper yourself. It's Valentine's Day! Much love ladies.

Study Shows Men are USELESS

A friend of mine posted an article on Fabebook called Women Are Overtaking Men in the U.S. from Sphere.com. It definately made me lqtm (laugh quietly to myself--I'm tryna get this to catch on) since I've been thinking this for years now. I know I sound like I'm contradicting myself when I say I'm not looking for a man but I can't wait to get married. But the reason I say I'm not looking for a man is because I truly don't need one for ANYTHING if I need to be bluntly honest. And I do mean ANYTHING if you can pick up what I'm putting down lol. I know the kind of man that I want to marry and that I will marry and it will be truly a miracle if we ever find each other. I want someone who is educated, motivated to succeed, and who won't tie me down and prohibit me from pursuing my simple plan of world domination. That's all.

When I read this I was happy that research was there to back up my feministic viewpoint.

 "Women really have become the dominant gender," said Guy Garcia, author of "The Decline of Men." "What concerns me is that guys are rapidly falling behind. Women are becoming better educated than men, earning more than men, and, generally speaking, not needing men at all. Meanwhile, as a group, men are losing their way."

I know I always talk to you ladies, but if there are any men out there that can raise their hand and say this is not true, please do so. Because from where I sit in the city of Orlando, there really is no debating on this this. Especially among people of color. It can find 20 females to every one male who has a undergraduate degree or higher. And I think that knowing how much better educated I am than my male counterparts and knowing how truly independent I am makes me a harder catch. I can't take any man seriously who is doing worse off than I am. Especially if he's older than me.

In conclusion--just between us girls--I really and truly feel I will be single for years to come. I refuse to settle just to be with someone and past men I have dated have allowed me to wear the pants financially and it's now a complete turn off. Am I crazy for feeling like I'm too good to be with a guy who hasn't taken the time to invest in himself through school or entreprenuership? Is that really shallow? I don't think so. I'm tryna be a part of relationship that rivals Jay and Beyonce, Swizz and A.Keys, or Barack and Michelle. I want to be a part of something that's ever changing, growing and making a difference. Whether it is just me ending up like Kris Kardashian and Bruce Jenner, I want to be a part of a loving committed situation where my husband is just as successful as me if not better. I say if he can't at least do for me what I am doing for myself then that guy is truly USELESS.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Milk & Cookies

 It's almost winter and I am looking for sombody I can call boo as Ciara would say. But until I find that special winter wonderland I'm still just bouncing around with the Mr. Right Nows. Don't judge me. We all have needs and some of us aren't afraid to admit it.

Now, like I said, I never thought I'd be sexually active without being married but life has turned out to be that way for me. A tragic tale of blind love (or lust) and crippling heartbreak and here I am two years later as "the cow that's giving the milk away for free." Let's be honest since it's just us girls, most of you are too. We're unmarried and giving away the milk.

The reason I had always wanted to hold on to my virginity is because I saw myself as something special--a prize to be given to the most worthy. And I truly believed that my man was gonna buy the cow. But since that didn't happen and I'm giving away the milk for free, how do I save something special for the man who does decide to buy the cow? That my friends, I call "cookies."

"Cookies" are those little extras that I save only for someone special to me. There a places I am willing to go sexually that won't venture into with just any ol' body. For example, I don't send pictures of my body to random dudes. That's probably one thing guys hate most about me. It's the first thing they need being visual creatures but the last thing I'm willing to give up. I don't like the idea of having my body on display for someone who could give two shits about me. I cringe at the thought that my ass or boobs or 'area' being a part of some loser's phone montage of chicks.

I always told myself I'd be adventurous in the bedroom for my man because we know what they say, "What you won't do another chick will." I truly believe in allowing your man to act out his sexual fantasies with you to maintain a level of excitement and freedom in your relationship. Granted I don't think that will keep him from cheating but I believe the duty of a good woman or wife is to be there for her man on that level.

In conclusion--just between us girls--treat your "cookies" like the deserts of your sexual encounters. Don't give them to just anyone. Guys expect so much from us sexually these days without making any committment. I can't tell you how many times a man has approached me on a first encounter about sex. With sex flooding our mainstream media and music on the regular it's understandable. But in a society where men are getting free milk we just HAVE to make them buy the cookies. Don't be a little freak in the bedroom for just any ol' body. Make a list of things that you want to reserve for your someone special. Make somethings sacred. One thing I have made sacred is my naked body. I also make sex in any place besides a bedroom off limits. Those are just some of the G rated things I can list. Think about some things that you would like to save for that special someone and list them below in the comments. My list is pretty long and some things guys raise eyebrows about but don't get it twisted "shorty is a freak--but only for her man though."

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Vegetarian Mindset: No Beef

Yes, my friends--another Twitter related blog. If you need an update on what Twitter is read my first blog post ever. And then crawl out from under that rock.

I have had the chance to do some great networking because of Twitter and I have been able to give the people that sorta/kinda knew me a better insight into who I am--an insomniac who thinks deeply, inspires easily, and trips and falls frequently. (No really. I can't walk without tripping.) And in turn, I have also had the chance to get to know people I never really knew that well. And I love that. I love making new friends. I love people. Don't know where that came from but I genuinely love people in general. Maybe its the idea that we really all are one and our differences are only barriers in our own minds.

This is getting deeper than I planned.

The point is I realized this morning that I don't have any beef with any female. Not one girl I know is a girl that I hate. I don't know about the other way around but I'm pretty confident no girl has beef with me. Being on Twitter has allowed me to see that girls are catty. I go out with my girls and I say "Hey, that's my friend from Twitter" and I get told "Oh, I hate that girl. She's fake/she's a hoe/she's a bitch" and my loyalty to my friend is silently questioned. Of course I'm not gonna go up to the girl and talk to her after that. But in my mind I'm like: "She's a friend to me till she does something to me personally." Or till she does something to one of my friends that's not related to a guy.

In conclusion--between us girls--why is that we as women always let a man come between us? I arrived home from the club last night to two police cars at my friends complex where the cop described it as "ten girls fighting over one guy." Heard homie has a regular girl but has another on the side who stays with him a week per month and pays his bills while she's in town. Not to mention him tryna sweet talk my girls all the time--even me. And apparently some girls he's messed with were out at the club and started beef with my girls. I say that's karma for his ass but why didn't any of those women realize that HE was the issue and not the other girls? I'll never understand that. If you find yourself at constant odds with another female over a man shouldn't you take a look at the situation a little more closely? I'm just saying--men are rarely worth the drama. Get the "vegetarian mindset" with me ladies.

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Fine As Wine

I like my men like I like my wine: aged, sweet, and moderately priced. I'm a sucker lately for the 35 and up men. Or maybe its because they like me. I think I've got all the features of a woman that a real man can appreciate (sorry I never understood the women with 12 year old bodies gettin any kinda play.) Maybe it is because I'm a bigger woman the older men like me but that's got nothing to really do with anything I have come to find out. Hands down I believe I'm beautiful just the way I am after years of forcing my body to be what it's just not. It took a long time and I'm finally there and I know for a fact that I can take your man if I wanted to lol. It's a funny thing to know someone for a while who I know never would give me the time of day and then to see that look on his face when I he realizes that I'm kinda hot is the greatest. That's why I never settle and I shake off dudes I know are approaching me because they think I need love like that. I gets love--BALLLLEEEEE DAT and I want someone who thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am and can appreciate the fact that I'm smart as hell and like the Beyonce says--I can definately "upgrade" him. But that's a whole other blog.

There's something about being able to have a conversation with someone that's appealing to me. I don't know if getting to know someone is a dying art but that's how I determine if a guy is worth my time or not. Playing the love game with someone is irrelevant to whether or not I can be with that person (now if we have to talk about how good it is, that's a different story.) That may sound crude but it's the truth. We all have needs. I'm attracted to the same things phyisically in any man. But I refuse to feel like I'm too good to be with any dude. "I'm known to walk alone but I'm alone for a reason." Ya'll know I used to hate on Beyonce, right? She's that chick for real though lol

In conclusion--just between us girls--does it seem like younger men are loosing the idea of "the chase?" You know, having to put in a little work before they get the goodies we all know they want? I feel like the value of a woman has decreased dramatically and maybe that has to do with the fact that the music we listen to tends to sell P as a product but back in the day (from what I hear) guys actually tried to make you like them before making "those" kinda moves. What I tend to get from older men is a little more attention in that area. Granted its not a huge improvement (don't make me elaborate...my recents will be ashamed) but the idea that I gave my number out so I can just get to know him isn't a big shocker to an older man. Maybe I'm lucky cause I get the one's with no kids OR ex wives so I don't know the true pain of being over a decade younger than the man I'm dating. But there's nothing like being with a man I wouldn't mind submitting to (yeah I said submitting--there can't be two bosses.) Today's guys need to take a lesson from the oldshchool. I want someone to make me feel like a woman should feel: treasured, respected, and beautiful. Can a girl get a little ROMANCE?

Stay beautiful inside and out!

Bathroom Etiquette: Boy's Edition

If I could be the Pause Police for lames in clubs across America I would be fining men right and left. Last month there was Bathroom Etiquette for ladies. The male edition is a lot more serious. Guys have about 30 seconds to get on a girls good side and 98% of the time they get shut down in less then ten. We ladies assume that guys in the club only want one thing. And we're not mad at that. We're mad at how you go about getting it. Fellas, here are your Do's and Don'ts.

Warning: If you are a man and you regularly break any of these rules, you are a lame.

DONT TOUCH: I didn't get all dressed up for you to feel all over me. C'mon, you can look all you want but DON'T touch. Can you honestly say you got a positive response from doing that fellas?

DONT SNEAK N FREAK: That's when you see a girl you like and you just come up behind her and start dancing. It's annoying to have to make the "Who the hell is behind me?!?!" face to my girls and then have them go into rescue mode. You may get a mercy grind or two but that's only cause I'm waitin for the next down beat to get away from your pervy ass.

DONT IGNORE THE GROUP: If you see a girl you like the last thing you want to do is alienate her friends. We instinctively assume that she doesn't want you around and will invent a bathroom break or need for another drink.

DONT TALK ABOUT SEX: Talking about sex when you meet a girl at the club is the ultimate sign of disrespect. I always feel insulted and disgusted when that happens to me. I also feel self conscious about how I'm dressed too cause I always wonder if I'm giving off a cheap girl vibe. Of course I'm not but I wonder...lol

DONT ASK ME TO BUY YOU A DRINK: And don't ask for a sip of my drink. That's the lamest thing you can do. I will give you the meanest screw face and walk way. It's not even a funny joke.

DONT IGNORE MY MAN: If I tell you I have a boyfriend or a husband I am politely saying I'm not interested. It's a poor reflection of your character to say "Who cares" or "Can't you have a friend?" If I wanted to cheat on my man with you, I wouldn't have mentioned him. Read that again. IF I WANTED TO CHEAT ON MY MAN WITH YOU, I WOULDN'T HAVE MENTIONED HIM.

DO INTRODUCE YOURSELF: I can never be rude to someone who comes up to me and introduces themself. We're almost programmed to stop and shake hands in that situation. It's way less threatening than being touched by someone you don't know.

DO ASK FOR A DANCE: You may get rejected but if you don't you can't deny that dancing with someone who actually agrees to dance with you is more fun than the sneak n freak.

DO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE GROUP: If we like you, we're more likely to let our girl have her time with you and we may even be on your side when you finally ask our girl to dance.

DO BUY ME A DRINK: Now I only say that in the case you spill my drink. In these days I'm sure if you offer to buy a girl a drink she'll either decline, think you want to take advantage of her with roofies, or assume you are gonna buy for her whole crew lol. I hate when a guy spills my drink and just looks at me. Not a good look.

DO COMPLIMENT RESPECTFULLY: I go out and show out so I appreciate compliments. They make me feel good. If I make you wanna take me home and play the love game you don't have to tell me that. Find another way to let me know you like how I look without touching or creeping me out. Compliments are the easiest and safest way to do that.

DO ASK FOR THE NUMBER: It's always sad when I meet a cutie who does all the right things and vibe and he doesn't ask for the number. If you've been getting positive responses all night, chances are the number is yours.

DO ASK FOR A DATE: The only place that's acceptable to invite a girl to that same night is Dennys (or your favorite food stop that's open 24 hours.) You get so many more points if you call the next day and ask to meet in a neutral location.

You'll find that the basic theme is RESPECT. If we feel respected, you're less likely to be rejected.

Where the MEN at?

My good friend DJ Skream posted on Twitter "being single is not the same as being independent" and he was right. But in my case I am both and it's been a blessing and a curse. All I know is the men--excuse me--fellas out here in Orlando really need to step their game up. I'm just saying. Just because I don't need anything financially from you doesn't mean that you get to leave the traditional male role mentality at my front door. I always dreamed of being a part of a power couple like Barack and Michelle, Brad and Angelina, or Jay and Beyonce. Now it seems like any guy I meet who sees that I have my own car, my own place, no kids, and my own money just wants a free ride.

Now I'm all about taking care of mine and nothing makes me happier than giving but I'm so over having to deal with the "Gimme Guys." Really? We been dating for how long now and you still haven't offered to take me out or cook for me and I have been doing that for you? Not cool. You know who you are. I also hate how guys expect to get some without putting in any effort. I mean can you at least PRETEND you want to get to know me? Then they act all mad when you keep the goodies in the jar. Whatever. I got this one dude who used to text me at bootycall hours all the time and he never ONCE asked me to do anything in the daytime. Never once. Since he doesn't have a car I just pretended I forgot one night and told him to drive on over. Haven't gotten a text since.

I understand what it is a woman is supposed to do in a relationship. I'm old fashioned like that. But you gotta enhance my life or get on the next flight cause I don't have time to deal with free loaders--lames--losers--SCRUBS (lmao I remember that song) because I'm on my Miss Independent movement.

There was a time when it was okay to be a female who just got by on her looks and linked up with a successful man but times have changed. It's all about women making it happen for themselves and being proud of it. I don't know if its just here in Orlando but that scale has tipped and now the guys seem to be gold digging. And I know it may seem shallow but you wouldn't say that if you knew what I went through lol. I think its fair to expect the guy I'm with to match my swag and then some.

In conclusion--just between us girls--I know we need love no matter how much we are expected to be Superwomen. But does that mean we have to settle and put up with fellas that aren't worth our time? Trust me, I will be the first to admit I have been guilty of it and I know some of you reading right now are looking over at your dude with that look in your eye lol. Fabulous says "a man is supposed to help you out with the groceries" in his song "Throw it in da Bag" and I believe that. A women should never do more for her dude than he is doing for her.

Stay beautiful inside and out!